Wednesday, December 9, 2015

To avoid garbage in memory, Kejriwal announces the usage of 0s and 1s on alternate days in Computers

New Delhi: AAP supremo and Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has announced that computers being operated in the capital city will be required to use its binary digits Zero (0) and One (1) on alternate days, to avoid garbage accumulation in memory.

From Jan 1, Computers being operated in New Delhi, will have to use their binary elements 0 and 1 on alternate days

From Jan 1, Computers being operated in New Delhi, will have to use their binary elements 0 and 1 on alternate days

Speaking at the Assembly, Delhi CM has suggested software companies to implement it right away and urged IT companies to implement it on personal computers of their workforce.

“Apart from that, our AAP IT team headed by Ankita will be reaching out to each and every home in Delhi and implement the necessary steps needed to pertain to this measure. It might involve them taking control of your computers and installing our new software,” Kejriwal announced to the Assembly.

Following the announcement, the applause of the AAP MLAs drowned the shout of the minority BJP MLAs. One AAP MLA made a jest, “Henceforth, computers can have zeros, ones on alternate days, but nothing equal to the number of BJP MLAs in Delhi,” and there was waves of laughter, before the three MLAs were thrown away.

“This measure is a masterstroke. Modi talks about Swachch Bharat and Digital India. This is a conspiracy by Modi, wherein he is planning to clean the garbage on the roads via Swachch Bharat, but wants to accumulate garbage in computer memory via Digital India. Everybody knows that India’s future is in Computers and he wants to pollute the computer. Our yugpurushji will not allow such sinister plans to pollute Indian computers. He is an Engineer and he has shown what an educated leader can do,” beamed a senior AAP leader.

AAP leader Ashutosh posted a photo of a computer RAM in his hand in Twitter along with a tweet that read, “Modi talks about Ram tempal. But he shud first clean Ram insight comp you tar. I have cleaned garbage fram my mummary. #AAPGoesDigital.”

Computer experts were flummoxed by this sudden announcement.

“We cannot allow zero and one on alternate days. It is impossible. You need both of them for a basic program to work. This is insane. This measure means no computer will work. Because the binary digits form the very core of all computing. Zero and One have to go together. No other go! All IT companies have to shift out of Delhi now,” shouted an angry computer expert.

“We do not care about any such hassles. We have to reduce pollution and if it needs that the computers be not turned on, it better be,” tweeted Munish Sisodia from his Twitter handle.

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