Monday, December 14, 2015

CBI finds proof against Sheila Dixit during raids, Kejriwal says Modi planted it

New Delhi. CBI has claimed to unearth a 370 pages proof against corruption of former Delhi Chief Minister and Congress leader Sheila Dixit in the Chief Minister’s Office during a raid on the premises earlier today, but the current Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has rejected that the “objectionable documents” were recovered from his office.

“Modi is scared of us and is engaging in such cheap tricks. The coward psychopath has planted such objectionable documents in my office,” Delhi CM Kejriwal declared when Faking News asked about CBI’s findings.

Arvind Kejriwal

“Am I stupid to keep such documents in my office?” Kejriwal argued when asked about the documents recovered from this office.

When our reporter reminded him that these could be the same set of documents he had claimed to be possessing when he was an anti-corruption crusader who was not forcibly hugged by Lalu, Kejriwal claimed that there was an undeclared emergency in the country and Modi must be removed.

“I know what documents and files are in my office, and Modi is playing cheap tricks,” he later clarified, “Today it is documents against Sheila Dixit, tomorrow they will plant documents against Sonia Gandhi ji in National Herald case. Is this what people of this country want?”

Realizing that he has taken the name of Sonia Gandhi and National Herald in the same sentence, Kejriwal quickly added, “This government is more corrupt than any other government India had seen.” Soon after this, #CorruptModi was trending in India.

With Twitter trends threatening to disrupt parliament, CBI clarified that it had not raided the CM’s office but the office of his chief secretary, which is located in the same premises. “We found these documents in a dustbin outside the Chief Minister’s office,” a CBI officer claimed.

“Why is CBI looking into dustbins? Is this Modi’s Swachh Bharat Abhiyan? Will dustbins be emptied and garbage strewn around in the name of fighting corruption? An attack on dustbin is an attack on our ideology. This is fascism!” a grammatically correct AAP leader Ashutosh protested.

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