The RSS’s All India Prachar Pramukh Manmohan Vaidya’s recommendation of a saffron Indian flag (instead of tricolour) has prompted brand ambassador of Dumber Lal Dant manjan and godwoman Radhe Maa to give out her own recommendation to our fakingnews reporter.
Red symbolizes purity, piousness and love
No prizes for guessing, she wanted an all red flag for India. She explained “Red symbolises what Bharat Maa and Radhe Maa have in common- they both are pure and pious. It will also look matching-matching on Red Fort”. When our reporter reminded her that the red flag is already in use as a stop signal, she retorted, “I wear all red, that doesn’t stop any of my devotees from doing anything”. When asked for clarification about this, she went paler than she usually is, and ran away saying, “All Indians are my sons and daughters and children have the right to love their mother”.
Manmohan Vaidya’s argument against the tricolour was that usage of different colours to represent different religions in India is bound to evoke a communal thought. Radhe Maa bhakts have come up with their own arguments citing Nana Patekar’s famous scene from Krantiveer where he demonstrates a lack of difference between a Hindu’s blood and Muslim’s blood. They say that the scene proves how red colour of blood is symbol of unity for which 3 different colours are not required in the flag.
This has lead to some bizarre repurcussions. A Radhe Maa bhakt wore red lipstick, pouted and took a selfie and updated her Facebook status as “Feeling rashtravadi”. This went viral and now women will be simply wearing red lipstick during cricket matches to show support. It is being speculated that in the upcoming cricket matches, “bleed blue” will be mocked with the infallible logic that one can only bleed in red. When the traffic signal turns red, people will have to get down from their vehicles and stand in attention, failing which they will be kicked out of the road and their vehicles seized.
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