Bihar to abolish literacy by 2016, electricity by 2017 and law and order by 2019

Patna: In a case of swift political decision making and iron-will the Maha-gathbandhan too declared that literacy, usage of electricity and requirement of law and order will be completely wiped out from every square inch of Bihar within the next few years.

Bihar ka future bright hai

The self-appointed spokesman of Maha-gathbandhan Mr. Lalu was talking to media when he was asked about the recent crime reports in Bihar where MLA from ruling JD(U) party helped her husband escape from jail.

He rubbished the reports and said, “People are saying there is no law and order in Bihar. Arre why do you need law and order? Can’t every one regulate his own self? Sab zimmedaar log hai na bhai? Similarly why do we need to study and get literate when we can have a buffalo at home? We can sell milk and earn money. Why do we need electricity when the wind that blows in our fields keeps us cool? We the people of Bihar need to get away from these distractions in order to make fast progress.”

When Lalu was asked about his notions of progress and development, he laughed loudly and said, “Dhat budbak, ka development rota rehta ho? We the people of Bihar need to go back to our roots. The very basics, all the old practices need to be re-vitalized. And when the “old” comes, the “new” has to go. So we plan to abolish literacy by 2016, electricity by 2017 and law and order will be totally gone by 2019. Samjhe?”

While Laloo was speaking to the media the ceiling fan which was menacingly rotating above his head since few minutes came down crashing and fell near his feet.

Laloo was not hurt at all but let out a loud cry of anguish. He then said, “See that is why I am against these new things. Abhi ceiling fanwa ko hataiye yahan se, aur darbaar wala pankha latkaiye, bada wala.”

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