Mumbai: India suffered a heavy defeat at the hands of New Zealand in World T20 tournament yesterday. Excited about India’s loss and in turn “patriotic” Indians having a bad day, an Indian liberal named Randeep was found by our Faking News team, while he was searching for New Zealand in a world map. Follows our conversation with him:
Faking News Reporter (FNR): Randeep, What are you doing?
Randeep Singh (RS) : I’m actually searching for New Zealand.
FNR: Well, we know it. But why break your zeal in searching for it. By the way, why are you searching for New Zealand?
Randeep looking for New Zealand in a globe
RS: It is one of the most coolest countries man. If there is one place where I would go, it would be New Zealand. I don’t know where it is, but since yesterday, I had decided that it will be one of the countries I will be cheering for, in any games.
FNR: From yesterday! Why?
RS: C’mon dude! India lost (laughs loudly) to New Zealand yesterday. It is a huge blow to Modi. It is a huge blow to Bhakts and Pat-riots. Hahahha! Sanghis would be crying in their closets! Hahahaa!
FNR: But India lost the match. We must be not so happy, because we are Indians.
RS: Do not force your patriotism on us. I will not sing National song, National anthem, not respect National flag, not support India in war and not cheer for Indian sports team. And you must not suspect my patriotism for India, okay?
FNR: Sounds fine! What else do you know about New Zealand?
RS: I guess it must be a new country. And they must be growing a lot of shoe polishes there.
FNR: Eh!
RS: The commentator spoke of Kiwis yesterday and I had used Kiwi polish during my school days. Also, I’m going to wear black dresses with fish bone on it.
FNR: Fish bone?
RS: I saw that in their jersey’s. Leave that, their flag still has union jack in it. I had a mental orgasm at their flag. I would have started singing “God Save the Queen”, but there were these communal Sanghis near me in the TV showroom. What if they lynch me? Happens in Modi’s India.
FNR: Sounds scary! Have you found New Zealand?
RS: Not yet. But I read online that it is where Lord of Rings movie was shot. So, going to see the Middle Earth map online to find out where it is.
We left the place, as Randeep was turning his attention to a laptop nearby.
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