A film about how Congress and Media views Rahul’s return from 56 day sabbatical.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. Viewers got shock of their lives as the Newshour program which usually runs for more than two hours got over in five minutes today.
This happened as all the panelists attending the show decided not to argue with each other and agree with whatever Arnab says. Arnab tried hard to provoke them. He went outside of what was written on the print outs to ask questions like “Is Modi secular”, “Is Rahul the most eligible PM candidate in waiting”, “Is Uday chopra the best talent our film industry has”. To his surprise all the panelist nodded their head and told yes to every question.
One of the senior panelist Sanjay Jha who has spent more time in Times Now studio than with his family from the time he joined Congress spoke to us on condition of anonymity, “When Congress hired me they told there are few challenges before them, you need to defend our indefensible prime minister Mr Singh in the show hosted by Arnab Goswami. As if this was not enough, in addition they told me to defend Gandhi family too.”
A shocked Arnab!
Sanjay added, “not many know this & I must confess, I did this for Arnab Goswami. He wanted his show to run for years discussing same mundane topics and still be on top of TRP ratings. Arnab whose paternal grandfather was from Congress told me there is no one in the grand old party who will be able to last for fifteen minutes in his show. To save career of a young journalist who left his job at NDTV to start something new and unique for Indian television, I took the offer from Congress”.
He always thought he is helping the younger generation in developing better group discussion skill in a hostile environment where best of the best will fail to speak to a word which makes sense.
Doctors advised him not to participate as his BP was going up and few times his wife told him not to address her as Nirmala Sitharaman or Smriti Irani during domestic arguments. On top of this Sanjay could not believe his son was thrown out of school group discussion as he used the same tactics followed in newshour show.
For the sake of his family, he wanted to change his life and become like Ashoka post Kalinga war. He realized if Bhajji and Symonds can become friends, why he cannot he do the same with Ravi Shankar Prasad for whom he has so much respect.
He tried to convince the fellow panelists who attend the Newshour show regularly to change their way of functioning. He told them, all of us get our pay packets per show basis & there is no extra bonus to abuse each other, why to fall in to the trap laid by Arnab?
Last we heard as nation wants to know, Arnab has hired Sony’s CID team to find the truth behind this with in a day.
Possibly Related News:
Bangalore. A man by name B. Soumik who works for an MNC software company shocked his colleagues when he received the much coveted “rockstar” rating, a double promotion and a steep pay-hike, despite only working the usual and normal 15 hours a day.
Soumik who works for Blue Oranges Software Solutions (BOSS), apparently went to his 1st appraisal meeting with a few printouts of documents he had prepared around his achievements in the past whole year. But he returned very frustrated from that meeting.
Many people across India may follow this route now.
In the “continued” appraisal meeting scheduled next day with his boss he just carried an iron rod and a small bottle of gel with him. When he came back to his cubicle after the meeting he declared that he has received the highest possible “rockstar” rating, a double-digit hike and a double promotion. He also told that he may even be nominated for employee of the year award.
Though it is not yet clear what exactly transpired in the meeting, Soumik’s colleague Burnit voiced strong concerns against the accolades Soumik has received, “We all work the usual 15 hours on weekdays, and 7 hours on weekends for the whole year. That usually gets you “Did OK” rating at end of the year. Those who work for like 20 hours for all 7 days get “Did Better” rating. Those who either work 24 x 7 or those who “help” the boss in his house chores are the only ones who get “Rockstar” rating. How can Soumik get it, he does nothing like that? This is just blasphemy, this is madness,” Burnit said in a burnt voice.
While Soumik has declined to comment on how he managed to grab so many accolades, calling it a secret negotiation strategy, his boss was also not available for comments as he has taken an urgent two weeks leave owing to a sudden medical emergency. Consequently all pending appraisal meetings for other employees have been moved on to a later date.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. Board of Cricket control in India (BCCI) has announced a major change in the cricketing rules by legalizing trial-by-combat for the final match of this year’s Indian Premier League (IPL). BCCI president Jagmohan Dalmiya circulated an internal circular to his direct reports in this regard which was then leaked into media.
Mr. Dalmiya later clarified his stance to media and said, “Our aim is not only to provide beautiful cricketing ambiance and sexy cheer-leaders but also non-stop entertainment to our viewers and cricket fans. That is the main motto of the IPL franchise. Hence we are bringing in tried-and-tested entertainment concepts from other forms of entertainment into IPL. Game of Thrones (GoT) in itself is a very entertaining saga of an ancient unknown civilization which has enthralled viewers across continents, just like IPL. Hence we are bringing trial-by-combat into IPL which we would be piloting in the IPL finals.”
New rule!
When asked on why trial-by-combat was particularly chosen for inclusion into IPL finals, Dalmiya provided further details, “Cricket is a game of uncertainties and hence we were looking for something which is equally uncertain, so that overall uncertainty and suspense in the game goes up. Which engages the viewers even more. Trial-by-combat in itself is highly uncertain kind of event, in which even a player such as Sreesanth can beat Andrew Symonds, which otherwise is impossible. When Shukla ji, who is a big GoT fan and who watches it every night before bed, told us about trial-by-combat thingy we all laughed it awat. But when we asked all our major management consulting teams to do some test-analysis around it, they all gave a thumbs up to include it in the IPL.”
While Dalmiya declined to provide any further details on how exactly trial-by-combat would be included in an IPL match, citing it as a big secret to be revealed only in finals, twitter is already abuzz with rumors and hypothetical stories around this announcement. Some of the highly trending hashtags are:
#JamieWasRightHandedBatsmanWhen
#GreyjoysBatIsLostForever
#UnsulliedNeverWantsToBat
#LittleFingerAlwaysWinsTheToss
#TyrionHatesBouncingBalls
#StarksWereBowledOutWhen
Possibly Related News:
Moscow. President Vladimir Putin has said racial intolerance in America would have shocked Martin Luther King Jr.
In his National Breakfast address in Kremlin on Tuesday, Mr. Putin said that America was “full of magnificent travesty – a place where, in past many years, people of a particular color have, on several (or most of ) occasions, been targeted by peoples of white color, simply due to their skin color and their racism.”
Putin making his historic speech with wine in hand. He said, “Stop whining about me Obama. See me wining, er, winning.”
This startling comment from Putin comes on the backdrop of recent racial tensions in United States of America. There were unrest in Ferguson over shooting of Afro-American youth by a White police. Even after protests and pressure, the deaths of blacks in the hand of white police never reduced. Last week, yet another racial minority youth was killed in police custody.
Explaining to his audience, Putin continued, “It will be better if Obama and his America cared about their internal problems before trying to poke their nose into our affairs. They cry about Crimea, but look at their Crime rates. The rate at which American do crime, they can change their country name to Crimea, so that I can invade it next year.”
After a round of laughter from the audience, Putin continued, “America had blacks as slaves, then they fought a war among themselves on whether to keep blacks as slaves or not. Then, they fought with blacks on suffrage rights of blacks, educational right of blacks, employment rights of blacks. Martin Luther King Jr sacrificed his life to uplift black and end racial discrimination in America. But, now, seeing the current plight of blacks in his country, MLK would have cried in his grave. This kind of racial intolerance in America would have shocked him. I feel sorry for him.”
Raising a cup of wine for a toast, Putin concluded, “I just want to remind Obama to look after his own country and try to solve the racial riots that are happening under his nose. If a black president was unable to create an amicable situation for blacks in USA, then I wonder what will the whites do to that minorities? Stop the killing of blacks or resign Mr. Obama”.
Possibly Related News:
Hyderabad. In a not so shocking revelation today, Faking News found out that all HR Personnel have inner ear implants that can play a collection of mp3 songs inside the head, without any disturbance from external noise i.e other employees talking, appraisal discussions etc.
This was discovered when they scanned a HR person’s brain when he was admitted for a routine scan. They found that in addition to the head being empty, there was an electronic implant in the ear. When they extracted and examined it, it was state of the art advanced technology that would put Spielberg’s Alien technology to shame. It had the seal of the MBA institute from which the person has passed out. They traced the item to the placement cell and demanded to know the full details of that implant.
How HR personnel are internally built.
A long kept secret finally emerged. Apparently the implant is fixed to every HR person passing out of the institute. It is voice activated. Whenever the HR person says ‘Tell me about yourself’ or kindly provide a feedback on your appraisal, it will turn on the songs. Then the HR can listen to the songs while nodding the head and saying mmhmm etc. They just have to control the urge of headbanging, that’s it. This implant also serves as an automatic answering machine when it hears questions such as “When will I get my hike?” or “Will my appraisal be screwed up this year as well?”. In response, it will play a prerecorded message “The management has to take a decision on that”.
The bonus feature it has is if during your feedback session, you happen to say that your manager is an as****e or f***k management. The device will instantly transmit the conversation live to your reporting manager’s phone.
The techies are not surprised at this new breaking story. We always knew our feedbacks were never listened. They said that now we know how our feedback didn’t reach anyone in the management.
The All State Senior Hr Organisation’s Legal Entity Subdivision have lodged a complaint on the hospital for revealing this information to the public.
Possibly Related News:
Faking News got this letter from untrustworthy sources with a claim that it is a love letter written by Rahul Gandhi to Indian farmers. Faking News cannot vouch for the authenticity of the claim and is representing the letter for readers to judge.
Dear Farmer of India,
I love you.
I care for you, I worry for you. I fret about you wherever I am, in whichever part of the world.
I know you are very poor, almost in the state of beggary, own a very small piece of land, probably smaller than my lawn, producing less than what you need to feed you and your family, living in a crumbling hut in a village with an unpronounceable name. See how much I know about you?
When you work in your fields day and night, when you put yourself in place of the bullocks that you can’t afford, for ploughing your field and you can’t even imagine buying a tractor in your wildest dreams, when you face severe hardships day in and day out, I lose sleep over your condition and the comfortable bed of the Barcelona hotel too does not help.
My concern for you goes up knowing that you depend on the monsoon and then, it fails you. When your fields become parched and arid, unable to produce a grain of rice, when you see your children sleep hungry day after day and your debt mounts, bringing menacing lenders at your door to impound your fields, believe me, even the wine glass in my hand does not taste as it would, normally.
Worried stiff about the farmer, but in love
When the unseasonal rains come, when the hailstorm flattens the standing crop, when you curse the lords and grieve over your calamitous loss, when the government issues compensation cheque whose worth won’t buy even a piece of bread or a single morsel of rice anywhere, when you balefully look at the destroyed crop on one side and the joke that the government has played on you in your hand, I grieve for you and even the hundred dollar caviar loses its taste.
When you are forced to work as hired labor because your field is unable to produce anything, when you dig and fill holes, within or around your village, when you get work only for 5 -10 days in a month, when half of the wages are taken away by the Sarpanch or the BDO as bribe I get so anguished that even the sights of Patpong lose their charm.
When your children do not go to school as there is no school, when the sick, loved ones lose their life before reaching the hospital, as there is no hospital, or after reaching there if there is one, as there are no doctors, or medicines or when the quacks experiment with your loved ones, the bottle of BlingH2O too feels adulterated.
When the women of the house go out at night as there are no toilets at home or village, when they are molested or raped, when the cops ask questions about your caste, religion and social standing before acting against the culprits, I get pained. In that terrible moment, even the hammock on the Maracaibo Bay beach hurts, like a bed of nails!
When you take the last resort of committing suicide, my heart cries out and I am the first one to visit you (or Late you) and offer my sympathies. I even declare you as martyr and name the farmer welfare schemes after your name as a proof of being your well wisher.
I am sure you appreciate that as long as you stay poor, as long as your crop keeps getting devastated, as long as you stay heavily indebted, as long as you keep committing suicide, my worry, my concern, the pain I feel for you, remains, as has been the case for last sixty years.
This penury, the destitution, the hardships and the deprivation are the forces of attraction which pull me towards you. They bring us close, make us compatible.
Please do not let this force of attraction, this magical bond between us vanish or fade.
I don’t want to lose you.
Never!
Yours Forever,
Rahul Gandhi,
Currently on a working break.
Possibly Related News:
Jodhpur. So enamored have been filmmakers by Salman Khan’s yesterday’s court appearance in illegal arms case, that they have decided to take footage of the hearing from the court and release it as a film.
Arguing that not only will the film be a 300 crore blockbuster, the filmmakers feel that this time Salman would also be able to sweep all critics off their feet.
“He hasn’t acted this well in any of his films so far. You should have seen the emotion with which he mouthed that awesome dialogue ‘I am both Hindu and Muslim’ when asked about his religion nationality,” said an overjoyed producer cum director Sajid Nadiadwala.
Salman in full tashan even while going to court.
“If released as a film, I am sure he will create a record by winning 2 Best actor national awards for a single film,” Sajid claimed.
If sources are to be believed, the lady judge upon hearing Salman’s response had tears in her eyes and decided to acquit Salman of all charges, before realizing this wasn’t a film shoot.
However filmmakers claim that not just emotion, the appearance also had comic and action moments, making it a complete masala entertainer.
“You should have seen the way judge ROFLed after Salman claimed that he was innocent,” Salman’s brother cum Malaika Arora Khan’s husband Arbaaz told Faking News.
“And not to forget the way he shoved off mikes and cameras of media persons when asked for comment. Action in those scenes was unparalleled,” he revealed.
Sources claim that Salman even went into the preachy mode a`la his Bigg Boss hosting style, when he reprimanded other convicts in the case and ripped them apart for wrongdoing.
To make it a complete film, film makers are also trying to have one more lead character in the film
“We are also in talks with makers of Damini to purchase rights of Sunny Deol’s character in the film. We will edit it and show it in such a way so as to make it look like that he is fighting the case for Salman Khan in Jodhpur court,” Sajid disclosed.
Possibly Related News:
Reston. United States Geological Survey (USGS), which religiously records the occurrence of Earthquake across the world has hit its lottery in India. It has shocked the entire India by recruiting Sakshi Maharaj as one of its topmost scientist.
Speaking to Faking News, USGS Director, Mr. Smith, said, “We had been spending all our time and efforts in tracking even minute earthquakes across the world and recording them in our website. It is a heavy task and it involves lot of spending from the US Government. Not only this, worldwide, all the countries are spending heavily on trying to invent a system that could predict Earthquakes. But till now, nobody could predict an earthquake and it has been an unsolved enigma for geologists like us.”
Not seismograph, but the heartrate of BJP top brass, whenever Sakshi Maharaj opens his mouth.
“What mathematicians and scientists and super computers could not decode, a politician from India has done it successfully. We knew that India boasts of its achievements in science, they even sent cheapest mission to Mars. But, we did not expect a politician to be our best find,” paused Smith.
He then showed us photo of Sakshi Maharaj in his smartphone and continued, “According to news reports, this brilliant politician has found out that Nepal Earthquake occurred due to an another politician called Rahul Gandhi visiting a Hindu temple. That sounds exciting. We always thought that earthquakes happened due to fault lines, tectonic plates, stress at faults, etc. But, this is the first time, we heard that an earthquake can happen due to a person who ate beef visiting a holy place. Since we couldn’t achieve success with our conventional methodologies, we have decided to recruit Mr. Sakshi and provide him a honorary position for helping us in achieving the much awaited breakthrough in the field of seismology.”
When asked about the method, he said, “We will station our field geologists outside temples where Rahul Gandhi tries to enter. Once, he enters, we will find the countries that are in proximity to that worship place and alert those nations.”
When asked about the science behind it, he laughed and said, “Look at the recent earthquakes. Most of them happened in areas which were in proximity to places where Rahul Gandhi visited. Only Mr. Sakshi had the eye to such details. And that is why he has become our most reputed scientist.”
Possibly Related News:
Tel Aviv, Israel. Israel’s largest weapons manufacturing firm Docam systems has announced that they would be studying the bone-structure of Bollywood film star Sunny Deol’s shoulder to develop a series of new and much efficient rocket-launchers. Talking to media over video conferencing Docam’s senior researcher Naftali Rafaeli provided more details.
Visual that left Israelis stunned.
“I am a big fan of India, however I am no big fan of Bollywood, but my daughter is. She watches all Indian feature films with lot of dance and songs. I asked her one day, why you don’t watch any war films and she showed me a few clippings from a rather emotional war film called “Border”. There I saw Mr. Deol running with a rocket launcher on his shoulder, blasting tanks, lifting missiles and what not. I even came to know that each of his hands actually weighs 2.5 Kgs. The shoulders which can take such significant weight and still work efficiently are nothing but a work of art.”
“I decided there and then, he can for sure be an ideal subject of study for us to mimic mother-nature and design more natural weapons. Especially the way his shoulder is designed will give us a lot of information on how to make our rocket launchers more efficient and lethal,” Rafaeli said.
He further continued, “In past also, we have learned from basic human anatomy and designed cutting-edge weaponry. Our current B-300 rocket launcher was modified and re-modeled according to muscle structure and bone alignment of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone’s shoulders. As the saying goes mother-nature is the best designer and we are nothing but her students.”
While Sunny Deol himself has not yet commented on this news, a few Delhi based NGOs have registered strong protests against any Indian helping Israel in any way possible. One of these NGOs which reportedly claims to have worked for emancipation of slum dwellers in Delhi is now suddenly running a “Save Gaza” campaign and will submit a signatured petition to Sunny Deol to reject Israel’s demands.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai: Remember those old cult-classic Bollywood “Nagin” movies, where Sridevi essayed a role of Ichhadhari nagin and danced to the tunes of a “been” (long flute specializing in controlling snakes). This proverbial nagin could also change her appearance from a snake to women and vice-versa as per her ichha (willingness).
Twitter DP of one of these journos.
While those movies generated a lot of fanfare and urban legends in their own time, the term Ichhadhari gained new connotation yesterday when one twitter user coined a term Ichhadhari Journalists to classify those journos who constantly change their life’s beliefs as per their Ichha and dance to the tunes of “higher powers”.
Initially started as a joke the hashtag #IchhadhariJournalists soon got viral and started appearing in twitter trends just below #YouKnowYouSpottedAJournoWhen and #BeehiveIsAStateOfMind. We present below some of the top tweets for our readers:
While Ichhadhari snakes have a photographic memory, #IchhadhariJournalists have memory made-up of “photographs” of their deleted tweets
Snakes r deaf, yet respond to a moving “been”, same as #IchhadhariJournalists who work effortlessly for masters without listening to critics
इच्छाधारी नाग कई प्रजातियों में पाये जाते हैं परन्तु #IchhadhariJournalists मूलतः एक ही प्रजाति के होते हैं (Ichhadhari snakes have different species, but #IchhadhariJournalists are of one)
Dancing to the tunes of a “sapera” is how an Ichhadhari Naag earns his living, so do #IchhadhariJournalists
एक इच्छाधारी नाग इच्छानुसार भांति प्रकार के रूप ले सकता है, उसी प्रकार #IchhadhariJournalists भी आवश्यकतानुसार कोई भी रूप धर सकते हैं (Just like an Ichhadhari snake, an #IchhadhariJournalists can take whatever form they want)
Ichhadhari snakes loudly hiss and threaten if anyone tries to prank or troll them .. kinda same as #IchhadhariJournalists
***
While twitterati was abuzz with such tweets a few people from Sapera (Snake-charmer) community registered strong protests for using term Ichhadhari in a mocking way. One of the senior members from the community talked to us on condition of anonymity.
“We have a legacy which we should protect and respect. Our country was portrayed as a land of snake-charmers by British people and we were long known by the same phrase for long years even after independence. Dis-respecting us and our beloved snakes by mocking use of the word Ichhadhari is an irresponsible act and we condemn it. Ichhadhari is a pure and word, please don’t attach it to morally corrupt individuals,” said the member.
Possibly Related News:
Jodhpur. Taking a cue from Salman Khan’s driver, the shopkeeper who sold the illegal weapon to the star has now claimed that Salman was indeed innocent, as claimed by actor in court today.
Making a shocking revelation, shopkeeper claims that Salman had come to his shop to buy a toy gun and in a strange mix up, ended up taking a gun with expired license.
“Salman is completely innocent. He was not aware that the gun he took with himself was a real one and could kill anyone, when fired,” claimed Tara Singh, the man who sold gun to Salman.
Salman checking which one of the 2 is a toy gun.
“Those illegal arms that he carried and used, were actually mine and thus he had no intention of killing the black buck. He was only indulging in a friendly banter with the buck,” he added.
On being asked why did Salman not check the gun before leaving, the Tara argued, “Like he is always in a hurry to sign films even before reading scripts, here too he seemed in hurry to buy the gun and leave.”
“Also he practices what he preaches, and thus like he advises his fans to leave brains at home, he too believes in that policy, that’s why he could not differentiate between the real gun and a toy gun,” he went on to explain.
Tara Singh further disclosed that he did try his best to avert the tragedy.
“I tried to call out his name after I realized that he had taken the wrong gun with himself, but he shot back ‘Ek baar jo maine kisi gun se commitment kar di toh main apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta’, so I left it at that,” he revealed.
Immediately after the shopkeeper revealed this, Salman’s fans took to twitter like Asaram Bapu’s fans and started trending #BhaiIsStillAnInnocentChild and #निर्दोष_सल्लुभाईको_न्यायमिले.
Meanwhile, family members of Black Buck killed by Salman too have given a clean chit to the actor.
“We had told the buck several times to not roam around in open. Since Salman was quite new to the industry back then, he may have took director’s ‘we are shooting tomorrow’ literally,” said Hiran Lal, Black Buck’s elder brother.
Possibly Related News:
Chennai. Hardcore Ashish Nehra fans who were eagerly waiting for IPL to begin this year, to catch a glimpse of Nehra being taken to cleaners by batsmen, are now a depressed lot, half way through the season.
Unable to make any joke on him because of his uncharacteristically good performance for CSK this season, these fans have now decided to sign a petition demanding inclusion of Ashok Dinda in IPL.
Dinda celebrating after being hit for a four, instead of six.
Dinda, who went unsold this season, is the last hope of these fans, with Ishant Sharma also nursing an injury.
“Nehra’s performance this season has left nothing at all to be desired. I mean what’s wrong with him. He is topping wickets chart, when he should actually be topping jokes chart on Twitter,” said a Nehra fan, who fears Nehra’s legend may die a slow death if he doesn’t return to his true form. “He is simply trolling us back, for the jokes cracked on him all these years.”
“Yes, I agree his teeth are still going strong and are bit of a saving grace for fans like us. But we need the Nehra of old fold, bowling full tosses and getting hit out of park,” he added.
These fans have now threatened to boycott IPL if arrangements to make Dinda feature in playing 11 of any of the 8 teams are not made.
“I don’t think Mumbai Indians or Kings X1 Punjab should be shying away from taking Dinda him on board. He surely can’t make it more worse for them,” said another fan.
No related news.
Mumbai. A news lover from Prabhadevi had to face an electronic loss after well-known decibel dandy and news debater Arnab Goswami yelled abnormally on the panelists for dodging his questions.
Ashwin, a news aficionado and wannabe Twitter celebrity had switched on his television minutes before 9 PM to enjoy Yo Yo Honey Singh’s songs till the time news-hour started. No one would have imagined the impending plight for having kept the woofer mode on, as Ashwin continued to watch the debate.
“Ashwin’s sub-woofer before and after the news-hour debate.”
Arnab had invited the ruminating professor Kamal Shatru Chenoy on his show and was asking him rapid fire questions at a speed of two questions every five seconds while Shatru kept chewing his gum. Apparently irritated over Shatru for dodging and ignoring his questions, Arnab shouted, “Mister Kamal Shatru Chenoy! Don’t you dodge my questions! ” at 120 decibels. This is believed to have blown Ashwin’s newly purchased sub-woofer system into pieces.
Our reporters requested Ashwin for a picture of the sub-woofer before and after. Here’s how it looked.
Ashwin was so agitated that he has reportedly requested Dr. Subramanian Swamy to file a PIL in the Supreme Court for putting anger management controls in place for television debates. Meanwhile, he has filed a separate FIR against Arnab Goswami for causing damage to his newly purchased sub-woofer. This is the first time an FIR has been lodged for a physical damage done by a radio wave broadcast.
Sources say Ashwin has made up his mind to ask for a brand new home theater system along with a sum of 20 lakh rupees. Many fear that despite so many allegations against Arnab, he might invite Ashwin to the studios for a fresh debate with #20LakhForNothing as hash-tag.
No related news.
Mumbai: An eminent journalist Monjolika Sarkar got in a fit of extreme anger yesterday morning when some of her twitter followers pointed out that the speech for which she is profusely praising Rahul Gandhi has not even been spoken yet. In her fit of fury she started to abuse whoever corrected her, called them names and accused them of trolling & abusing her for being a woman.
“What grace?”, she tweeted with this pic.
Below are some of Monjolika’s initial tweets praising Rahul baba (deleted later):
“Rahul Gandhi, extremely good homecoming in parliament continues. After your comments on nuclear energy today, I’m your fan. #RahulRoars” [09:45 AM]
“What a feisty demeanor today in LS. An ecclesiastic yet prosaic delivery of enchanting words. Return of a true Prince. #RahulRoars” [09:48 AM]
When a twitter user @goriBilli1729 pointed out to Monjolika that Rahul Gandhi has not yet spoken on Nuclear energy in any of the previous sessions, Monjolika immediately deleted the tweets and pretended not to have tweeted them in the first place. But the damage was already done as many twitter users had already taken snapshots of her tweets and had started circulating them in social media.
When Monjolika was specifically asked by a few twitter users on how and why did she praise Rahul baba for his LS speech even when LS session for the day hadn’t started, she lost her cool. She began to call them saffron goons and bhakts. She maintained that the tweets-snaps being circulated were fabricated and she would sue anyone who circulates them.
When some of the abused twitter users clearly stated that they don’t support any saffron agenda, she apologized for calling them bhakts and started to call them trolls, who are abusing her for being a woman.
Later in the day she tweeted her feelings through below tweet:
“Bhakts please calm down. Don’t know why u r so burnt about my supposed +ve comments on RaGa, what’s wrong in praising an icon?”
However, the above mentioned tweet was also deleted later for some mysterious reasons.
Possibly Related News:
New Delhi. Fed up of the stupid statements issued by Sakshi Maharaj every now and then, senior leadership from BJP has approached MI player Keiron Pollard, requesting him to put the same tape he was wearing on his mouth a few days back, on Sakshi’s mouth.
The decision was taken after latest statement of Sakshi Maharaj where he claimed that Rahul Gandhi’s Kedarnath visit caused Nepal earthquake.
“Since he does not appear to be sensible enough like Kiran Bedi, to shut himself, we have sought help from Pollard Ji to do the needful,” confirmed BJP president Amit Shah.
“The tape seemed to have worked in his case as we hardly saw him get verbally involved in anything on field,” Shah pointed.
BJP’s last option.
When told they could still defend Sakshi’s statements through their spokesperson Sambit Patra, Shah argued, “No, that’s even riskier. We fear in his bid to defend such statements from Sakshi, he will mouth a statement even more stupid than original and then we will have to send someone to defend that statement.”
Some of the other measures taken by BJP to tackle menace of Sakshi Maharaj include uninstallation of whatsapp from his mobile, confiscation of Nirmal Baba CDs and keeping a tab on his meetings with some SP leaders like Abu Azmi, Azam Khan etc.
BJP has also approached AAP leader Ashutosh to teach their spokespersons the art of shedding crocodile tears on TV, as that seems to be their last resort to defend Sakshi.
“We are sure a certain Sambit Patra crying on TV, saying ‘ispe gandi rajneeti mat kariye Sonia ji’ will definitely have an impact and touch the right chords,” claimed Amit Shah.
Meanwhile many opposition parties and media personnel, who were earlier after BJP to take action against the likes of Sakshi Maharaj, were now seen lamenting how Modi led BJP was curtailing free speech of a fellow MP.
“By putting Tape on a respected leader’s mouth, dictator Modi is trying to muzzle voices of dissent. This is shameful,” said Digvijay Singh. “My career would have been over if Congress had leadership like BJP.”
No related news.
New Delhi: Count Vlad Tepes “the impaler” from Transylvania, properly addressed as Count Dracula, was in city to inaugurate an exhibition on ancient European arts. He had also organized a high-tea and met up with several human rights activists to understand human concerns about vampires.
He assured them continued co-operation from himself and his breed. Later he also addressed a small press conference after the exhibition and high-tea were over.
After sitting quietly at the press conference for a few minutes he finally began in a deep, calm voice, “Welcome everyone to this conference. I apologize if I sound a bit weary. I am actually a bit worn out due to my flight after which I came straight from airport to here. I have just hacked .. apologies .. I meant I have just sacked my personal secretary for this bad itinerary planning. Onboard the flight I did watch some vampire-movies after a long time, as it was a long flight from Frankfurt to New Delhi. The vampire movies these days are just gross, no elegance of old times.”
A generous Count Dracula
“Anyhow I will talk about a couple of important points to you gentlemen. A) vampire rights, B) vampire privileges. Vampire rights and privileges are very crucial these days as our-kind is severely depleted due to a lot of natural and man-made hunters. (Count Dracula also showed a power-point presentation with a data-chart depicting their depleting numbers over the years)”
“So as a minority community we seek protection, harmony and love from our human brothers. As a gesture of love, most of us have stopped biting humans and sucking their blood and have resorted to drinking chemically prepared blood substitutes. This dietary change is affecting our health in a bad way, but that is a sacrifice we are willing to make. In return all we ask is that every vampire be given blood sucking opportunity, once in every few days, say every 3 days. We can negotiate on this number and reach a final number through mutual cooperation but this is an activity which will help us survive as a species,” Count Dracula said.
When asked about his new NGO, count Dracula gave a short-lived smile-like expression and said, “Yes, that is a new non-government organization which I have just registered in Romania to fight for vampire rights. We have also bought some real-estate adjacent to beautiful Danube river and our new plush office is under construction. Having a local branch-office here in India is also on cards, but we are still working on legal paper-work around that. This NGO is also in need for funds and volunteers so you all are welcome to contribute.”
In the middle of the press conference Count Dracula suddenly started coughing loudly and got into a fit of coughs, as smell of garlic tea which was being served at the press conference spread in the whole room. Extremely allergic to garlic he was quickly escorted out of the room into the gallery where he suffered serious burns owing to sudden exposure to sun-light. He was immediately rushed to AIIMS where after a few hours of solitary confinement and self-healing he was declared completely fit by doctors.
While Count Dracula has rejected all offers of News channel panel discussions, he is expected to be holding another high-tea event early next week where he would be meeting several dynasty princes and discuss his views on purity of blood and its impact on policy making.
Possibly Related News:
