Wednesday, March 30, 2016

After Amla Murabba, Beauty Creams, and Noodles, Ramdev to sell Condoms

Ramdev showing the design of new packets

Mentioning the same Swadeshi revolution and complaining about the loot by foreign MNCs, Baba Ramdev vowed to compete in yet another market domain. While teaching Anulom Vilom in his Yog Shivir, Ramdev took a pause and informed his attendants about his upcoming product. He said that the companies like Durex are not able to supply durable condoms and that’s why population is increasing.

He criticized the companies for making huge profits by exploiting option-less public. He expressed dismay that BJP MLA Gyandev Ahuja, while searching for condoms in the hostels of JNU, didn’t find any quality condoms. Ramdev stated that the dearth of quality condoms and exploitation by MNCs, forced him to jump in this domain.

He told his followers that his company, Patanjali Ayurved has made R&D in producing special latex. Like his other products such as Chyawanprash, the Patanjali Condoms will beat the market leaders. He mentioned that his company has already become a leading FMCG company and will throw out the parasite MNCs from India. Meanwhile, Acharya Balkrishna, squatted next to him, had started doing Kapla Bhati. Ramdev nudged Balkrishna with his elbow and asked him to explain the product.

Balkrishna then revealed the brand name as “WO HAI”. He said that they have brainstormed this ingenious name as the customers who go to purchase condoms are very hesitant and instead of saying condom or using any brand name just murmur “wo hai?”, then the shop keeper scolds the customer asking kya hai?. He said that their product name is very convenient to be asked for in any shop and the name will be an instant hit in the market. He also said that they will publish ads featuring the love guru, Prof. Matuk Nath Choudhary. Then he recited the new ad jingle – “ Apke pass Wo Hai, Wo Hai. Ab sabke pass Wo Hai.”

Baba Ramdev mused about other condom brands and said that none has ever done so much research in manufacturing and marketing as Patanjali has done. He listed other products and said how his products have helped eradicate life threatening diseases like polio and plague. He told how his Dant Kanti toothpaste has helped old men grow new teeth.

After discussing about his line of products, Ramdev asked his followers, attending the Yog shivir, if they have questions regarding any product. One man took the mike and eagerly asked whether Swami Ramdev and his team themselves test the product before launching it. Ramdev said that yes, they all taste the product. Like before launching Atta Noodles, they all ate it for entire week, three times a day. Convinced by baba’s answer, the man squatted and started doing Bhramri.

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