Sunday, January 25, 2015
Saturday, January 24, 2015
US President Barack Obama took some time out from official functions and decided to enjoy Delhi as an aam aadmi. Here is what he did, as captured by exclusive Faking News cameras:
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North Korea has taken notice of Gurmeet Ram Rahim and the state media is lavish in its praise for the many qualities, which the followers of maverick Indian godman Sant Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji Insaan claim he possesses. The state run council of films promotion has bought the rights for the movie for an undisclosed amount.
The film to be titled “Hana Nuguui Mesinjeo Gananim” (One whose Messenger is God) will star the Supreme Leader of the country Kim Jong-un and be made a mandatory watch for all the citizens of this democratic republic. North Korea has also taken on lease some photoshop & video editing artists from Gumit Ram Rahim Singh’s studio who will morph the Supreme Leader’s face on to the Indian actor cum saint.
A spokesperson from Korea in a written reply wrote, “Gurmit Ram Rahim Singh is perhaps the only living being on the planet who comes close to matching the Supreme Leader in terms of possessing super human qualities whether in sports, intelligence or spirituality. After watching the film, we did realize, that advancement in technology will help us just translate the movie to Korean and morph Supreme Leader’s image as the content is pretty much the same as we want to use. All the goons will look like Americans as they represent the evil we want the world to be rid of.”
The Korean government has also launched an scheme where poor Koreans who watch the film will be provided with half a bowl of rice.
A spokesperson of Dera Sauda commented on development, “ We are extremely grateful to the North Koreans who have recognized the immense talent of Guru Ji. Kim Jong-un has personally invited Guru Ji to play Golf & go tank riding with him. This heralds a new age in India-Korea partnership.”
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New Delhi. Mr.Gayman, a South Delhi based social worker and a vehement gay activist, was picked up by the police in the early hours of 23rd Jan on the charges of ‘Assault’, for beating his son black, blue and pink.
The incident occurred in the late evening hours of 22nd Jan when the activist returned home to find his son in a compromising position with his neighbor, another young man of his son’s age. An imminent rage overpowered Mr.G and he grabbed whatever was available, impatient to wait for his weapon of choice, and thrashed his son black, blue and pink to add appropriate color to the conflict.
Faking News caught of with Mr.G, who is currently out on bail, for an account of the incident. To begin with, Mr.G recollected his early years as a prominent gay activist in the capital city and how it used to bring happiness to his otherwise meaningless life until the recent event of finding an active gay son at his own home.
“When I started supporting for gay rights, I thought Queer theory is in Physics and LGBT group is a refrigerator manufacturing company and I certainly did not know anything about the section 377 of IPC. Just that it was a fashionable thing to do in India and the support came from all quarters. The effect was such, I had changed my name from Rayman to Gayman. Indian courts can continue to illegalize an orientation change but cannot oppose a name change; Can they?” Mr.G smiled only lightly, given the grim circumstances.
Asked about why he got upset watching his son growing to become a homosexual, Mr.G spewed a venomous rage, which is seen only in Bollywood movies enacted by a seasoned villain when all his worldly possessions are destroyed by the hero, half his size.
“Difference between a dream and a fantasy. I have dreams about his life. He has fantasies. Being a good father, I am planning to give away 50% his dowry money for him to start a business. Now he has started acting on his fantasy, shattering my dreams, as if all this is none of my business,” Mr.G was close to tears as he was biting away the rage within.
“My son always acted against whatever I preached, all his adolescent life. So I was never worried about him becoming a homosexual. It backfired on this occasion. Completely surprised, when I queried him, in a rather civil moment, my son admitted about his favorite author supporting gay rights in India and it must be a cool thing and he just wanted to try. A father to father, a gay activist to another activist, I sincerely wish the damn author’s sons grow up to be gays,” Mr.G summarized.
“Gay activism is OK. But an active gay son is not OK. Active unmarried gay son is not at all OK,” Mr.G wiped his tears out, as the Faking News correspondent recorded every word of the sensational incident in New Delhi.
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Friday, January 23, 2015
“Source” in reality is a name given by media people to an unknown central power they believe in, just like God. Faking News brings to you five interesting facts about the Source which prove that he is almost a kind of God.
1. Nobody from media questions Source, even if they feel he was wrong in giving them information. They simply accept it as Source’s will, just like most of us try to convince ourselves calling it God’s wish, if something unexpectedly wrong happens with us. Wisdom of Source is unquestionable, just like that of God. The Source is allowed to take as many U-turns he wants to. It’s all about belief. Media guys have faith in the Source, and they think of whatever they say as Source’s wish.
2. Many in the media claim to have met Source, but they don’t have any proof to show. It’s almost like some saints who claim that they have met God, but have no proof. Truth is, nobody from media has ever seen or talked to the Source. Whatever they believe Source is telling them is actually what they think inside their head.
3. Just like human beings are doing worst things in the name of God, media guys say whatever they want in the name of Source. To a large extent, both God and Source are victim of their own followers. However, just like God, even Source doesn’t give much damn about those things and has never come forward to give clarification about the wrongdoings of his followers.
4. Just like God is the creator of the universe, Source is the creator of media industry. It is Source who is feeding those 24X7 news channels, as they keep showing breaking news revealed by Source.
5. Source treats every media person equally irrespective of which media house they belong to. Whether his follower belongs to a small time newspaper or to a big news channel, it doesn’t matter to him. All that matters is who is remembering him with greater love. Psychologically, Source is almost same as the God.
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Thursday, January 22, 2015
Mumbai. Gautam Gupta, a long time WhatsApp user, super excited about the app’s newly launched desktop version, has been found carrying his open laptop wherever he was going.
Gautam says he just can’t take off his eyes from the browser. “The thing which I was doing on my mobile, now I can do that on my laptop too, this is so awesome,” an elated Gautam told Faking News adding that till now he has informed near 200 people about WhatsApp’s desktop version, “For a change, my mobile is lying inside my pocket while I am still chatting on WhatsApp. This is so cool and amazing.”
“It’s a really huge news for all those WhatsApp addicts who were bored of the monotony of wasting so much time on mobile. Being able to do the same stuff on a bigger screen is definitely going to add some extra fun to it,” Gautam further explained the reason why he was feeling so excited, “Doing WhatsApp on laptop is giving me a feeling of seeing my otherwise western wear loving girlfriend in traditional attire.”
Gautam even confessed of travelling in crowded Mumbai local with his laptop open. “It wasn’t that comfortable. But dude, the excitement of using WhatsApp on laptop was sufficient enough to motivate me from the inside,” he reasoned.
Revealing most important benefit of using WhatsApp on laptop, Gautam said that his mobile was getting a bit of rest.
However, if a close friend of Gautam is to be believed, by making himself too much thrilled about WhatsApp’s desktop version, Gautam is trying to get rid of his habit of constantly staring at “mobile” screen.
“Although it is pointless as he is trying to achieve that by replacing it with an even bigger screen,” commented Gautam’s friend.
Meanwhile, Gautam was spotted pleading a shopkeeper near Andheri station to allow him to charge his laptop.
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