Sunday, April 17, 2016

PM Modi launches new scheme SHIT for IT employees – Solving Hardships in Information Technology

New Delhi: Keeping up his tradition of making journalists work on a Sunday, Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced a new scheme today, SHIT. SHIT stands for Solving Hardships in Information Technology and is aimed at solving the problems faced by IT Engineers in their work.

Modi

PM Modi after announcing SHIT

As per a survey, IT Engineers are the most stressed, over-worked and under-appreciated employees in India and to reduce their stress, PM Modi has launched this scheme.

Making the announcement, PM Modi said that the scheme will offer many benefits to IT Engineers like working from home and free broadband access without restrictions to download all latest films and TV shows. Those who want to work from office will get edible food in office canteens and smoking zones will be located within 10 meters of one’s desk.

Every employee will get to sit on the bench for a minimum period of 4 months every year during which (s)he can catch up on all the movies (s)he has downloaded via torrents. There will also be a provision of paid leaves which will not require approval from manager so that they can finally travel to the places which they keep liking on Facebook.

The scheme will also address the biggest concern techies have, on-site placement. After every 2 years of service, IT Engineers will get one on-site placement under SHIT.

Asked about the controversial acronym, IT secretary said, “There is nothing controversial at all. Most IT employees are made to feel like shit by their bosses anyway. On the contrary, this scheme name SHIT will touch a chord with the IT employees. They will feel associated with it right away! Their job is shit and they know it.”

Meanwhile, opposition parties have attacked Narendra Modi for launching SHIT and doing nothing about PEE, Problems of Engineering Employees. “This is selective appeasement of IT Engineers, what about other engineers? Aren’t their jobs shit?” asked a senior opposition leader from Delhi.

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