Monday, April 25, 2016

Fed up with constitutional violations, Constitution of India takes a break; goes off on a holiday to Antarctica

New Delhi: Fed up with the unending violations of Constitutional provisions and principles all over India by all and sundry, the Constitution of India decided to take a break today and flew off on a holiday to Antarctica.

Constitution of India

We are on a break

The latest unending tussle between the Parliament, Government and the Supreme Court over the powers ascribed to them by the Constitution of India and constant bickering and terming of one another’s actions “unconstitutional” has finally broken the patience of the Constitution of India.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone does what they want in my name and I have been abused far too much for far too long. I just desperately needed a break,” said the Constitution of India over an email.

When asked why it chose Antarctica for a holiday, the Constitution said, “I just wanted to get as far away from humans as possible. Actually, even the animals too. Animal rights have been giving me sleeplesss night off late. I just need some time for myself.”

However, the Constitution is keeping its guard up even in Antarctica. “It’s been pretty peaceful for the few hours I’ve been here so far. I just hope the damn penguins don’t end up figuring out who or what I am. I am keeping an eye on them. Fingers crossed.”

The event has understandably stunned everyone all over India, none more than the spokespersons, politicians and the courts who are struggling to figure out alternative term for “Unconstitutional” to slam anything and everything.

One party spokesperson reacted, “Man! I’m going to have to refresh my vocabulary now. I was having so much fun by calling every action of my opponents as Unconstitutional. Life was easy. What the hell am I going to say now?”

One senior Supreme Court advocate compulsively slammed the Constitution for going off on a holiday and termed its behavior as Unconstitutional.

Caveat: This column hasn’t violated any constitutional provisions in light of the fact that the Constitution is on a break.

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