Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Oscars may be ‘so white’, but the role of Vladimir Putin will be played by Idris Elba

Hollywood: Until late on Tuesday night, #OscarsSoWhite was the biggest trending hashtag on Twitter, with everyone from actors to politicians expressing their disapproval at the sidelining of minorities nominated for this year’s edition of the Academy Awards.

That is until the hashtag #ElbaAsPutin emerged. As news began filtering through that the role of Vladimir Putin in his upcoming biopic would be essayed by Pacific RimPrometheus and Thor actor Idris Elba, Twitter erupted with hashtags like #BlackActorsMatter suddenly taking over the airwaves. And that’s not all, the film was apparently mooted by Putin himself.

Honestly, I do look like Putin don't I

Honestly, I do look like Putin don’t I

When asked if such a film was indeed in the pipeline, a source in the Kremlin said, “Da.”

When asked if Elba was Putin’s own choice, the source said, “Da.”

Finally, when asked if the film was endorsed by the president, he said, “Da.”

Clearly, a man of few words.

On his part, Elba offered that he was ‘touched’ to be considered, never mind bagging the role. “I’m told it was my performance as Commandant in Beasts of No Nation that convinced President Putin to cast me in the role”.

Meanwhile, felicitations began pouring in from Elba’s peers shortly after the news was broken by news agency RIA Novosti.

“I had mentioned I’d like to play Putin. I had also mentioned I’d like to win an Oscar some day. Looks like neither are going to happen, and I couldn’t be happier for Idris,” said Leonardo DiCaprio.

“F***in’ A! I always f***in’ knew he f***in’ had it in him. F***!” offered Quentin Tarantino.

Veteran director Spike Lee pointed out, “As we mark the 30th anniversary of Dr Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, it’s important to know that this role was made for Idris and he is claiming it, no matter what anyone thinks. As Dr King said, ‘There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but he must take it because conscience tells him it’s right’.”

Unfortunately, while trying to get Viola Davis’ view on the casting, our reporter ran out of balance somewhere in the middle of her meandering monologue. (Printing only a part of it would do a massive injustice to her words, so we’ll leave it at that)

The coveted job of director for this mega-biopic has yet to be allocated, however, inside sources at Miramax — the studio tasked with bringing this film to life — Faking News that two titles have been shortlisted for the film: Straight Outta Kremlin and Bolz’n the Hood (because Bolsheviks n the Hood was deemed to be too long).

However, queries about whether Pussy Riot would be composing the music the film went unanswered.

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