Monday, June 15, 2015

Arnab Goswami claims Times Now impact as Sun’s temperature reduces by 0.02 degrees Celsius

Mumbai. Times Now and Arnab Goswami took credit for the twelve millionth thing this year – the sun’s temperature reducing by 0.02 degrees Celsius last week.

Arnab Goswami

Sun was reportedly scared to look into Arnab Goswami’s eyes

While the Sun’s actual temperature is 15 million degrees Celsius and scientists said that such a reduction would not have any material impact on anything, Arnab Goswami still went ahead and claimed that the the temperature reduction was because of non-stop and meaningful reporting by him.

“Out Lower Parel office gets direct sunlight from one side of the building where Arnab’s Goswami private soundproof cabin is,” a Times Now official revealed, “Our editor-in-chief had been vocally complaining about the sunlight for some time now, threatening to force the Sun out of solar system if it didn’t stop sending scorching rays. Last week Arnab threatened the Sun of dragging it into the surya namaskar controversy around Yoga if it didn’t lower down its temperature.”

“The temperature came down immediately the next day by a staggering 0.02 degrees Celsius – the number is bigger in Fahrenheit I think,” the official proudly claimed, “If this is not Times Now Impact, then what is?”

Meanwhile AAP took credit for the temperature reduction too. “Yeh hai aam admee ki takaat,” Arvind Kejriwal said.

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