Thursday, September 17, 2015

Siri speaks in Hindi, sings Bollywood numbers after learning about Modi-Tim Cook meeting

Cupertino: In a bizarre incident, iPhone’s Siri has reportedly started assisting phone owners in Hindi all of a sudden, going to an extent where it freaked out westerners by singing top Bollywood numbers. This strange behavior is believed to have started after meeting between Modi and Tim Cook was announced.

Faking News reporters working out of California got access to an audio clip of Siri’s behavior with one of the customers; here’s the transcript of the whole conversation where the customer seemed to have asked random questions to her.

Siri in a desi avatar

Siri in a desi avatar

Customer: “Who will be the president of United States in 2016?”
Siri: “Ache Din aane wale hain. Abki baar Modi sarkaar!

Customer: “What?”
Siri: “Janta maaf nahi karegi.

Customer: “Do you love me?”
Siri: “Main sabhi desh vasiyon se utna hi pyaar karti hoon.

Customer: “Can you sing a song?”
Siri: “Sone sone patole lakhaan
Sone sone patole yeah…
Ae takdiyaan rehndiyaan aankhaan
Ae takdiyaan rehndiyaan..

Customer: “Ok. Sounds like a Bollywood song. Can you sing an English song?”
Siri: “Who’s the hottest girl in the world? My desi girl. My desi girl.

Customer: “Alright now!”
Siri: “Janta maaf nahi karegi.

Customer: “OK, so what is your opinion on politics?”
Siri: “Sab mile hue hain ji!

Customer: “What is Pakistan’s reaction on India’s development?”
Siri: “Rona Dhona!

Customer: “What do you think of Bobby Jindal?”
Siri: “Woh tho poora ka poora desi hai!

Customer:”Poorakapoora what?”

(We could not transcribe the remaining part due to interpretation issues)

Top notch engineers from Apple were unable to fix the problem; as per our latest reports, they are working on it with no expected end time for resolution.

India’s troublesome neighbor seems to have launched its own Swamulki movement as part of which it has started disowning iPhones and selling it to their brothers-in-arms China while blaming their prime minister for not having met even a toy phone CEO.

Sources say that adarsh liberals from across the nation have started destroying their iPhones after learning about Modi’s meeting with Apple CEO. Some are even believed to have dropped iPhones in paper shredders as soon as they read this news which included the group that blamed Modi for the 1984 riots.

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