Saturday, September 5, 2015

Man weds food processor, says he is inspired by TV ad

Bangalore: A techie from Bangalore caused outrage and traffic jams in Bangalore City last week when he decided to wed a food processor. The wedding took place in a spacious convention hall in B.T.M Layout and was attended by friends and family (from the boy’s side). However, no one from the company making the food processor attended.

The TV ad that inspired the techie

The TV ad that inspired the techie

The wedding invitations were sent out a month ago both by regular India Post as well as scanned 30 megabyte jpeg images to friends and family.

Apparently, not many were surprised or worried about this unusual pairing thereby confirming that Bangalore as a city has become very “open” to new ideas and thoughts. “We are very open minded I say”, claimed a 60 year old uncle of the groom when we asked. “If the boy wants to marry a food processor or a washing machine, what is the harm in that?” he questioned.

We spoke to the groom himself while he stood and received guests (the extremely shy bride  rested on a decorated chair, in her brand new packaging). “I have seen my friends marry and then later complain about their wives turning all rebellious and feminist. After bringing them to Bangalore from some remote village in Tamil Nadu or Bihar, they suddenly find freedom here. Initially they do all the cooking and cleaning for busy I.T men like me sending me off at 7am to reach my office at 10am. Then in six months they start nagging about lack of pride, vision, freedom etc mainly influenced by writings of liberals and feminists such as Arundhati Roy and Taslima Nasreen. This is when they change,” he paused to wipe a tear.

“Pretty soon we have debates on whether she should also work or not. You tell me saar! How can she work? If she works, how will I drop her to work? Spend another 3 hours on the road to her workplace? I was tired of such horror stories. Then this T.V Ad came which changed my life. Something about Patni and Chutney. It changed my life. I knew they were talking to me, secretly telling me to marry the right person. That is when I decided to look around for the right food processor,” he added.

He turned around to look at his bride and said, “I found her in a showroom near M.G road. She had nice discounts and is the latest model. And guess what, they also accepted Sodexho coupons in part”

We left the venue with a new found understanding about women’s liberation and the open culture that is Bangalore City.

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