Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Leftist student admits he hasn’t taken bath since a year to protest Modi’s Swachh Bharat Mission

KNU, Delhi: Engineering students have generally been trumping political science students over the years, in terms of not taking bath for highest possible number of days. But Sudeep Pyaajwaan from KNU university Delhi has beaten all recent records for not taking bath for longest periods of time. Sudeep has apparently not taken a bath since 3rd October 2014 when the Swachh Bharat Mission was started by PM Modi.

Sudeep trying to convince his girlfriend

Sudeep trying to convince his girlfriend

Talking to our reporter Sudeep was pretty vocal about his protest.“I used to love bathing. I would shower for hours at a stretch, even though I felt guilty later as it was against my socialist, people-welfare kind of beliefs. I was actually addicted to showering and I loved staying clean. But when that Swachh Mission thingy started I just could not participate in it. How can I participate in something started by someone with RW ideology. I am Left Wing, I cannot do anything Right Wing. If Right Wing wants to be clean, I will choose to stay un-clean. I just can’t follow anything endorsed by RW,”said  Sudeep emotionally.

He further continued, “So when on 3rd Oct I went to my bathroom, I could see saffron everywhere. The bucket and mug looked Saffron in color, the shower sprinkled saffron water. Although saffron and red are not very different colors, but ideologically they are at the extreme opposite. My brain was really fried thinking about all this. It seemed to me that all bathing and cleanliness equipment has RW painted on it and everything related to cleanliness was the “RW” thing. That day I decided that I would stay as far away from cleanliness as possible.” Sudeep gave a wry smile and splashed the deodorant bottle several times around himself.

Sudeep’s stinking body and thoughts do not come without repercussions for him. His long-time girlfriend has left him because of his body stink, despite their extremely common hobbies, their shared hatred of majorities, their love for processions, and their common hazy views on nationalism.

“Over last 7 years she attended 200 candle light vigils with me pleading mercy for terrorists, but one day even she could not bear the stink,” tears rolled down Sudeep’s cheeks and he could not continue further.

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