Monday, September 28, 2015

Kejriwal declares Calendar Girl tax-free after reviewing it, says no entertainment in the movie so no entertainment tax

Jantar Mantar, Delhi. After a series of positive and encouraging reviews of various Bollywood Movies, this time Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal has come hard on Calendar Girls (request readers not assume any double meanings here). While Mr Kejriwal typically watches a film four times (all 4 shows for a comprehensive view) before presenting his views, a couple of trivial issues like Dengue, Crime, Inflation etc have kept him slightly busy and he could watch Calendar Girls only twice. Surprisingly he asked for private screening in his office cabin with both views coming back to back between 10 pm to 3 am in the night.

When contacted for his comments on the movie, Mr. Kejriwal, in a rather harsh tone said, “Now what kind of a movie Calendar Girls? I think Madhur Bhandarkar ji has added to the misery of the such girls by casting them in a movie like this!” When asked about how many stars he would give to the movie Mr Kejriwal said, “I am so crossed with the film that forget any star rating I’ll give it three crosses, ie: XXX rating.”

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Kejriwal was in good mood before movie began

Giving the issue a political angle, the Delhi CM said, “Sab BJP ki chaal hai ji, desh ke yuva aur straight ladkon ko gumrah karne ki. Delhi University ke ladke raat bhar Calendar Girls dekhte rahe aur wahan DU elections main vote karne gayi sirf ladkiyan.” He further added, “Don’t forget we have Somnath in our camp, therefore our chances of getting girls’ votes were as good as Ashutosh, I mean Zero.”

When confronted that Calendar Girls got released many days after the Delhi University elections, Mr Kejriwal promptly said, “But anticipation always exists jii. In my experience, once you search the words ‘Calendar Girls’ on Google at night, you’ll end up sleeping only in the morning only.”

To validate Mr Kejriwal’s claims, our correspondent went to the Delhi University and spoke to a group of students who admitted that they were not able to wake up in the morning to vote and when asked why did they behave so irresponsibly they replied, “Woh Calendar Girls dikhaate rahe, hum apna kaam karte rahe…”

When probed about how does the Delhi Government plan to curb such Bollywood blunders in the future, Mr Kejriwal said, “Dekhiye humari sarkar ne kaafi research kari hai aur is film ko bareeki se samajhne ke liye Kumar Vishwas ji ne khud Calendar Girl ka jeevan bitaya hai ek hafte ke liye. Party ki core committee ka faisla yeh hai ke Calendar Girls ko tax free banaya jaaye.”

On being questioned on this rather contradictory statement since usually the movies which are of national interest are made tax free so that more and more people can afford to watch them, Mr Kejriwal said, “Entertainment Tax to hatana hi padega ji, Jab Entertainment hi nahin hai film main to entertainment tax kaisa ?” Adding further to this, he said, “Does the government impose Income Tax on people who do not have any income?” Also explaining how AAP has always gone out of the way to help the public, Kejriwal remarked, “Our leaders Ashutosh, Kumar Vishwas etc etc are providing whole-hearted entertainment on social media, but do we levy any taxes?. NO!”

Meanwhile according to internal sources, AAP has also started its own production house with its first release set to hit the theaters soon. There are several rumors around the movie’s name but our most trusted sources have confirmed it to be “Bhaag Somnath Bhaag“. In Somnath Bharti’s absence, Kejriwal may leverage his prior experience in running away from Delhi to complete the movie.

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