Friday, April 24, 2015

After smelling a green-leaf I was transported to an alien planet, where I spent 50 days: Rahul Gandhi

New Delhi. Darling of liberal and normal news channels, and heir to the Congress throne, Rahul Gandhi, has shed light on some amazing facts regarding his recent 50+ days vacation. Talking to a press conference he explained his exciting journey in detail.

“I think that green leaf, which I found on the floor of a night club, was some kind of an empowering gadget, an inter-dimensional portal opener, a quintessential worm-hole device. As soon as I “smelled” that gadget, it empowered me to travel across galaxies to a new planet. That is why no one was able to locate me during my vacation days. And I knew you won’t believe a word of what I say about my journey to this alien world, hence I did not reveal these details until now but then I can’t keep anything from you beloved reporters, can I?” Rahul baba smiled and said.

Rahul describing the alien planet.

Rahul describing the alien planet.

When asked for how long he was on that alien planet Rahul baba further added, “Was it for 50 days or was it for 56 days, if you ask me that specifically, I don’t remember. I just remember that I was very high in the sky for a few moments and then I was thrown on a planet which was totally green in color. Green cotton-candy, green ice-creams, all cartoon channels were also being shown in green color. And yes, there were green crops everywhere and there were poor farmers everywhere. Lot of poor, wretched farmers. They all were growing the same leaves which I had just smelled. All in all it was fun.”

On being asked what he did on a distant planet for so many days, Rahul baba gave a puzzled look and said, “My memory is pretty hazy on exact details but mostly I was doing some kind of charity work. Empowering women etc. I remember on that planet I was called upon for inauguration of ten to fifteen gymnasiums for women, which is really great as women can regularly go to gym and empower their bodies. Those aliens did treat their women well, we ought to learn from them. I wish I could go there again, and perhaps take you guys along with me as well.”

Before he could speak anything further, veteran congress leader Digvijay Singh quickly entered the room and whispered something in Rahul baba’s ear. Immediately after this Singh escorted baba out of the room and the press conference ended abruptly.

While it is not yet clear what scientists and doctors will make out of these revelations made by Rahul baba, the twitterati swung into action soon after this press conference, with thousands of twitter users hypothesizing about Rahul Baba’s journey.

Hashtags #GreenLeafNarnia and #RahulOnJetPlane immediately started trending in the South-east Asia region, and were top-trends for around 3 hour 42 minutes before they suddenly disappeared from the trends list on twitter.

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