Dhaka: In news just in, Bangladesh Cricket Board (BCB) has announced that it has hired Mr Kanhaiya Kumar as the cricket coach of the Bangladesh cricket team. According to agencies, Bangladesh’s board was impressed by Mr Kanhaiya Kumar’s strong desire to destroy India. Mr. Nazgul Hassan, BCB’s president said, “We have been getting thrashed by India since a decade now, and no one can understand the pain of being thrashed non-stop more than Mr Kanhaiya Kumar”.
The great thinker Kanhaiya Kumar
Mr Kanhaiya Kumar was jubilant on receiving the offer and promised to do his best to deliver the innocent Bangladeshis from the injustice meted out to them by India, and said he would give them Azaadi from the massive defeats they keep getting on the cricket field.
According to our sources, Kanhaiya Kumar would be paid a handsome compensation with lots of perks including a bean bag since Mr Kumar is still unable to sit on a chair after beating he was administered by the lawyers at Patiala house.
Meanwhile experts say that Mr Kanhaiya has a lot of innovative coaching techniques to train the Bangladeshi team and psychologically gain an upper hand over India. His methods include getting Kashmiri separatists at the Indian team’s training grounds and shouting slogans about Azaadi from Virat Kohli and Dhoni. He also has plans to rope in India’s most optimistic loser, Mr Rahul Gandhi, as chief counselor to the Bangladesh team. Monetary incentives include a Freedom 251 phone to each member of the team if they lose to India in the T-20 world cup by less than 100 runs.
However, Kanhaiya Kumar’s master plan of dressing up the Bangladeshi players as immigrants and having them spy on the Indians had to be dropped after a couple of players including Mashrafe Murtaza used the opportunity to escape to Delhi to get better paying jobs at construction sites.
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