LeT Headquarters AfPak Border: Mr. Pagloon Alu-Bukhari who is the Chief Talent Acquisition Officer (CTAO) for Lashkar-e-Taiba is a very busy man these days. He had been tasked to hire and train several recruits to go and raise Anti-India slogans throughout university campuses in India, but has been drawing heavy criticism from LeT CXO team and board of directors, for not being able to deliver on his talent promise.
We are Mckinsey of the JNU students.
“I have no shame in admitting that I have failed.” Bukhari told in a phone interview given to a leading newspaper The Telephonegraph. “Our recruits at Jadavpur simply failed to create the stir that JNU recruits did. But lessons are learnt and our next gen slogan-engines would be much sharper, precise and effective. With that I also announce the product recall of 300 JNU students with immediate effect. I urge the student union head to submit the defective products at our various outlets at line of control and we will get back with appropriate customer compensation. I also ensure a higher product quality in our next batch.” Mr. Bukhari promised.
When he was asked on why LeT’s JNU products are being recalled despite their significant success in creating a stir, Mr. Bukhari got defensive. He said, “Well our recruits in media have done a much better job than our JNU recruits. JNU recruits are a Version 1.3 slogan engines which just created an initial spark, but our media recruits were actually instrumental in putting a hell lot of petrol in fire with some of them even declaring themselves Anti-India openly. They shall aptly be rewarded but had the JNU spark-plugs been bigger we might have seen a bigger success.”
“It’s an opportunity missed none-the-less and something which we shall regret for rest of our lives. But the next version 1.4e (e for explosive) of our slogan engines shall have much better spark plugs which offer durability, reliability and precise disruption when kicked. Product quality is a promise which we shall always keep as leading terror manufacturers.”
While it is not yet clear on when will the exact product recall be executed and when will the products be replaced but that is expected to happen around next university admissions. Meanwhile LeT’s earning statement predictions have all tanked after this recall announcement and consequently the share prices of several leading media houses are in now in red.
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