Saturday, September 28, 2013

Man feels he is gay because a random survey suggests so

Kolkata. While politicians are losing sleep over findings of opinion poll, a man from Alipore area of the city has lost his sleep over an inncuous survey that suggested that he could well be having an alternative sexuality


A 33 year old happily unmarried man from thinks he is a gay after a study done by Canadian scientists sometime back claimed to have a serious correlation between left handers and homosexuality. The Bollywood crazy man was looking for hot pictures reading his favorite newspaper when he stumbled upon this report on 16th page of that newspaper. What led him to actually read one full article after years of subscription to that newspaper is still not known. However experts claim he could have mistaken the article for something else going by the pic that showed 2 semi-nude girls having their bodies entangled with each other.


dostana

The man in question burned the CD of Dostana which he got as a present sometime back from his friend



The research involved a huge sample size of 7 US men of varied ethnicities to come to a conclusion that male homosexuals across the world are 82% more likely than heterosexuals to be left-handed.


The findings shocked the man (himself left-handed) so much that he began wondering if he is indeed a homosexual and if that is the reason he has not been able to say yes to innumerable marriage proposals that have come his way so far. He immediately calculated gender of his friends and found a staggering 75% of his friends belonging to male gender which made him wonder if he could well be a gay. And when he saw a leading Indian fashion designer signing autograph with his left-hand, his worst fear came true.


One of his friends tried to tell him that it was hardly an issue even if he was gay, but the man was hell bent on believing what he read in the newspaper than his close friend.


Although this is not the first time surveys of this sort have been done. Earlier after a research claimed that men with smaller testes make for a better father, families of prospective brides in India were more interested in knowing size of the groom’s testes than his kundli of background.


“The only thing these meaningless and useless surveys establish (besides the bizarre findings and links) is that unemployment or rather joblessness is not just a problem affecting third world country like India but is quite prevalent even in developed nations like US, UK,” claimed an expert having affiliations to the ruling party in India.


Meanwhile the man in question was arrested after his signature on a cheque didn’t match the one in the bank’s database. He had reportedly signed it using right hand. The man was further booked under relevant sections of IPC after he tried to get smart with 58 year old women working as a clerk in the bank.



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