Mumbai. After 5 weeks of rigorous observation and analysis, 23-year-old Ganpat Dhar today discovered the huge benefits he was deriving by writing and speaking in SMS language.
Ganpat claims that he managed save a staggering 2 mili joules of energy, apart from sneaking in an extra ounce of fresh air inside his lungs than normal, thanks to conversing in SMS language the whole day.
The young man was under tremendous pressure for last few weeks to prove that his habit of using SMS language was actually fruitful and helped him save a lot of time.
“I won the challenge, losers!” Ganpat claimed as he revealed his findings to his detractors.
A page from Ganpat’s Diary.
Sources confirm that his quest to come out with all kind of weird shortened words and phrases for last few days backfired initially and made him consume more time than usual instead. But after 5 weeks of hard work and struggle, his efforts finally yielded results as he managed to save a whopping 2 seconds in an entire day.
“I am elated. I wanted to show all my friends and critics that you actually end up saving substantial amount of time by using SMS language and its usage should be made mandatory by ministry of communication. The time thus saved can be put to productive use like watching Anil Kapoor’s part in Mission Impossible 4 or enjoying a Rohit Sharma’s knock,” said Ga Dha (name shortened to save time at Ganpat’s request).
What started as a fascination to write in SMS language has over time turned into an obsession for Ganpat, who even speaks in SMS language now.
“Now even while watching comedy shows or films, I just utter
LOL or ROFL instead of actually laughing,” Ganpat disclosed as our reporter said WTF.
Faking News had to hire services of renowned expert Shahid Kapoor (PhD holder in SMS language) to decode what Ganpat said during our brief interaction with him. The quoted sentences above are full form as interpreted by Shahid.
However Ganpat’s friends are not convinced and log out moment they see him online to maintain their sanity. They even blame him for destroying whatever little language skills they possessed for eternity. Only one friend, Nilim, talks to him.
“I want to join RAW or CBI and am interested in decoding secret languages, that’s why I chat with him,” Nilim explained.
Meanwhile Ganpat has received an offer from Prime Minister’s Office to offer a tutorial on how to remain silent in SMS language.
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