Thursday, July 30, 2015

Tired of being stereotyped based on surface color, kettle sues pot for calling it black

New Delhi: Tired of being profiled on the basis of the color of its surface for the better part of the century, the kettle has recently filed a lawsuit against the pot for indulging in ‘blatant colorism’.

A reflection of its own color.

A reflection of its own color.

In a statement issued to the press earlier today, it had this to say, “I have had enough of being constantly prejudged by the soot tarnishing my surface rather than the quality of the various beverages that’ve been made in me over the years. And while almost everyone seems to freely indulge in this colour-motivated prejudice, it is specifically the pot that I wish to see brought to justice since it is the root cause of all this stereotyping to begin with.”

Touching upon the matter of what it expects to gain from the lawsuit, the kettle stated, “I have full faith in the legal system to do what is right and regardless of how long it takes, I truly believe that once the pot is made answerable to the law, in time the people will also begin to see the error in their ways.”

Responding to the lawsuit soon after the news broke out, the pot issued its own statement to the press stating, “This back and forth between us has been going on for a while; I really don’t understand why the kettle has suddenly decided to take legal action now after all this time. The fact is that we’re both covered in soot to some degree or the other and if it cannot come to terms with this fact then it is clearly living in denial. My honest suggestion to the kettle would be to question why it feels that this is such a bad thing; every kitchen implement eventually gets there.”

He continued, “If it’s a question of finding the black color of soot objectionable then its time would probably be much better utilized going after the myriad manufacturers of fairness creams that have perfected the business of equating darkness with inherent inferiority. After all, until our makers stop indulging in such arbitrary prejudices, what hope will simple kitchen implements like us ever have?”

Public opinion on the subject remains divided, some claim that the idiom is meant to indicate that that the pot is erroneously targeting the kettle seeing its own sooty reflection in the kettle’s surface which they believe lends credence to the kettle’s complaint.

The majority, however seems to be of the opinion that the idiom merely highlights the hypocrisy of one soot-encrusted implement accusing another soot-encrusted implement of being encrusted with soot and as such the kettle should stop wasting the court’s time with such a frivolous matter.

No comments:

Post a Comment