Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. A hitherto unknown militant outfit Lashkar-e-Sajid has today claimed responsibility for the newly released film Himmatwala, which has claimed 30 lives due to unbearable torture and mentally deranged more than 1000 people so far.
This outfit was also responsible for previously released Housefull franchise, the after-effects of which India is yet to recover from, but this is the first time they have come out in open taking responsibility.
Suspected mastermind of the ruthless attack
Though the motives of this outfit are still not clear, there are intelligence reports of similar attacks being planned in coming weeks through their allied outfits Jaish-e-Shirish and Al-Farah.
“They don’t target specific areas, and appear to believe in carpet bombing,” Mumbai Police Commissioner disclosed the modus-operandi of the groups, “We are finding it tough how to identify their hideouts as they could be anywhere.”
Mumbai Police sources say that they are trying to find out if these outfits are part of some bigger known militant outfits like Bakchodi-ul-RGV and Chutiyaap-e-Rohit-Shetty.
Due to unprecedented death toll and pressure from moviegoers, Home Ministry has also swung into action and has promised that the movie won’t be allowed to release on television as it could maul millions of Indians and push the country into a mental deficit.
“There is definitely an RSS conspiracy behind such movies and Sajid Khan is 100% RSS agent as the poster of Himmatwala has a Saffron colored tiger in it. Presence of Ajay Devgn also proves RSS hand as the actor had hosted Google Hangout for Narendra Modi,” claimed congress leader Digvijay Singh.
While Human Rights activists have hailed Digvijay Singh’s statement, Animal Rights activists have asked him to shut up as the latest reports suggest that the tiger in Himmatwala is suffering from depression after he was shown the movie post production.
Away from all the controversies, Indian government has bestowed Sajid Khan with National Award for making the Best Film in “Wholesome Chutiyapa” category.
A teary eyed Sajid said that this was an inspiration and acknowledgement of his service to movie making, and has vowed not to stop making films until directors like Kanti Shah start looking like Satyajit Ray in comparison.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. Tired of waiting outside the trial rooms while their wives tried clothes inside, many men have started fixing business meetings with fellow married executives, Faking News has learnt.
“We give surprises to our wives by telling them – darling, let’s go out and buy some new clothes for you – while in reality it’s a business meeting for us,” revealed a 29-year-old marketing manager with a leading FMCG brand.
The new business center
Such managers, who have earlier spent hours waiting while their wives tried to shortlist the final six pieces of garments out of which only one were to be finally bought, are now synchronizing their shopping schedule to make sure their respective wives go inside the trial rooms at the same time.
“We take small breaks from our meeting, lasting a few seconds, to nod or shake our heads when our wives come out to ask us if a particular piece of suit is looking good at them, and we resume our meeting when they go to try another dress,” the manager disclosed the modus operandi.
“No, it’s not necessary that we reject the first tried dress by our wives to prolong their trial session and thus our business meeting,” the manager claimed, “Even if we say the dress is looking good, they invariably try other dresses and compare all of them.”
Justifying this “cheating” in relationship, the managers say that they had no other option.
“Look, it’s not cheating at all,” protested a husband/manager, “In fact, if we have no business meeting, sometimes we end up checking out other women trying clothes. So we are essentially minimizing the risk of cheating!”
While wives refused to react over the development as they were very happy with their husbands, the Government of India has taken cognizance of the whole matter.
“These men may not be cheating their wives, but they are cheating the government,” a senior Income Tax officer claimed, “They are using these shopping centers as business centers and not paying any service tax!”
Possibly Related News:
New Delhi. Continuing with stuff that don’t make sense at all, Justice Katju today announced that he will soon start his own e-commerce venture – 99Katju.com
The announcement by Katju has shocked most industry watchers and experts, who thought that India was about to see an e-commerce bust with many leading players losing money fast.
Justice Katju brimming with confidence about success of his latest venture
“I think this is another step by Katju where he’s trying to prove his expertise in a field where he might not have any,” claimed an investor who recently wrote off millions invested in an e-commerce company.
When asked to explain the rationale behind his decision, Justice Katju told Faking New, “Article 19 of the Indian constitution grants everyone the right to practice any profession, or to carry on any occupation, trade or business; who are you to deny me this right?”
Our reporter clarified that no one was denying any rights or freedom to him, and we just wanted to understand what logic he had applied before taking a decision.
“See, William Shakespeare had said – we work by wit and not by witchcraft – you must have read Othello, right?” Katju confused this reporter who tried to find a connection.
“You won’t get it. That’s why we need a minimum qualification for being journalists,” he said and went on to launch his e-commerce website.
The nation now awaits the next step by the former judge of the Supreme Court.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. Apparel manufacturing and selling companies have welcomed the practice of disfiguring and discoloring various pieces of clothing such as shirts, trousers, banyans, underwear, etc. on the eve of Holi, and have claimed that were ready to replace these in coming weeks.
“We have these ready in our stocks. In fact, we always keep them ready as we see a hike in sales after Holi. Who says only Diwali is pro-business?” an official representing Rupa underwear-banyan told Faking News.
Industry experts claim that many people buy new clothes, especially t-shirts and banyans, after Holi.
“A common misconception is that new clothes are bought only on Diwali or around New Year, but common sense and sales figure confirm that Holi is another reason occasion to buy clothes,” an expert revealed.
The apparel companies conceded that they missed a chance to egg people to play Holi by tearing off each other’s clothes rather than by using water.
“We should have joined this ‘waterless Holi’ bandwagon, and requested people to play ‘from clothed to cloth-less Holi’ and save water,” a store manager of Lifestyle rued the missed opportunity.
“Many of these kanjoos consumers won’t buy new clothes if their old ones were not torn on Holi,” the manager added, “Industry is really happy to see this tradition continuing, and we hope that no one raises a voice against kurta-phaad Holi and other such traditional variants.”
Sources say that clothing brands are planning to launch Holi special series from next year onwards to preempt any group from starting a campaign to stop the tradition of tearing off clothes.
“A special range of clothes to be worn and torn only for the Holi day,” brand manager of Amul Macho confirmed, “Premium range of clothes that are torn bade aaraam se while playing Holi.”
When asked why someone would buy premium range of clothes only to get those torn within minutes, the manager explained, “See, Holi is the only festival where you can’t easily flaunt your wealth, as everyone gets colored with the same brush. We hope that the premium range of Holi clothes would change that.”
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. A group of MBA students cutting across various b-schools of India, who are yet to get a job through campus placements, have requested their classmates to play colorless Holi to show sympathy and solidarity with them.
“Mera jeevan kora kaaghaz, kora hi rah gaya,” Rahul, a student from BIMWI (Best Institute of Management in Western India) rued as he rejected consolations from colleagues that it was just a matter of time before he’d also “get placed”.
Taking a cue from calls to play “waterless Holi” to show solidarity with the drought victims in Maharashtra, these students have asked placed students to play colorless Holi.
Such banners, instead of banners showing semi-nude female models, have started attracting the attention of Rahul.
“It may not get us jobs, just like the water saved in the towns won’t necessarily go to the villages,” Rahul said, “But at least it’d be a nice gesture. A nice symbolic act, something and perhaps the only thing we all are comfortable doing.”
When asked about details of “colorless Holi”, Rahul clarified that it meant that no colors other than black or white could be used by students on campus.
“A black color symbolizes sadness and sign of protest, which will go down well with the mood the unplaced students are in, while a white color could appear like those fairness creams suggesting low self-confidence, again not very different from the mood on campus,” a philosophical Rahul explained.
The call by unplaced students has left the placed students confused and divided.
“I think it’s a fair ask. It might hurt them to see us happy,” said a 23-year-old MBA student who claims to have got a 55 lakhs rupees CTC job offer and a posting in Bihar.
“This is ridiculous! It’s not that he won’t get a job at all,” Roshan, a batch-mate of Rahul protested, “In fact, he may get a better job as all of us have got less than the ‘average salary’ decided by BIWMI for this year’s placement report. To make sure that the average salary mark is met, they’ll have to get these guys placed in higher paying jobs now!”
“Oh yes, it might be on paper only, but our jobs are also on paper only right now,” Roshan insisted that he had full rights to play Holi with colors.
Possibly Related News:
Remember the old man Carl Fredricksen from the 2009 movie Up? No resemblance between the personalities of the (cartoon) characters, but we are talking about looks here.
Possibly Related News:
Hyderabad. Employees of Brainblast Consulting Services (BCS) were shocked to find one among them being unusually cheerful and happy on a Monday morning – a time when all of them rue the return of the working hours.
“We were especially shocked that it was Garamendra Krodhi, who was swearing like Virat Kohli when he missed watching the final day of the Mohali test match last Monday, but this Monday he was cool as MS Dhoni,” Mohit, a software tester at BCS said.
Initially BCS employees thought that Garamendra was happy over the Delhi test ending in three days, and thus making it a decent Monday morning, but soon they realized that Garamendra was suddenly happy with everything in the office.
Naramendra happy on a Monday morning
“He even went on and thanked the guys in the HR department for canceling his leave application; he had planned to take leave tomorrow and have an extended Holi. In fact, he said that he’d even work on Holi if the management wanted!” Mohit recalled.
The usual hotheaded Garamendra was the first one to reach office and he greeted everyone with a smile as they walked in with a rather morose mood.
“He was no longer Garamendra,” Mohit claimed, “We think he has become Naramendra!”
A coolheaded Garamendra confirmed that he was enjoying his first Monday at his seventh job in the last two years even after fully exhausting this month’s salary on the weekends.
“I don’t know what makes people so upset about Mondays or worried about future. Even I used to be, but no more,” he said, and offered a chocolate to the housekeeping boy who sneezed in his cup of coffee by mistake. There was no trace of anger on his face as he got up from his seat.
“Poor guy has caught cold it seems,” the coolest-employee-on-a-Monday offered his sympathies and walked away to fetch a fresh cup of coffee from the vending machine, leaving the housekeeping boy stunned and overawed.
Unable to believe their eyes, employees of BCS are planning to take the changed Garamendra forcibly to a doctor. They believe that so much happiness on a Monday morning could give wrong signals to the management.
“We don’t want those guys in the HR and Accounts departments to assume that we are happy with everything and don’t need any increment!” feared a BCS employee.
Possibly Related News:
Islamabad, Pakistan. Former Pakistani ruler Pervez Musharraf, who came back to Pakistan yesterday after more than four years, is already craving to go back to Dubai, UAE.
Reportedly, Musharraf is already missing the Lebanese belly dancers that he used to frequent every night in Dubai.
“We had requested few of the favorite Lebanese dancers of Mr. Musharraf to relocate to Pakistan, so that General doesn’t miss them, but the dancers burst into laughter as soon as they heard about relocating to Pakistan,” Mr. Ahmed, a close aide of the former dictator told Faking News.
Musharraf misses the missus
“For the first time the faces of the dancers were jiggling more than their bellies,” Ahmed recalled how the dancers reacted after being told that they would be given a safe stay in Pakistan.
As a result, Musharraf had to come back to Pakistan without any belly dancers. It should be noted that he had been living in exile for 4.5 years – mainly in London, Dubai, and TV studios in India – and had become a keen follower of belly dancing.
“General is a big admirer of arts, and in particular, of dances. In fact, the YouTube videos showing him dancing have registered more than a million views. Who knows, the anti-music Taliban is upset with the General only due to this aspect of his personality,” Ahmed claimed.
Ahmed further claimed that General did try to check out a few local dance bars in Karachi but was disappointed with the quality.
“Musharraf Sir has grown beyond Mohajirs and Mujras , but that’s the only thing he could find out in Karachi. Now he’s desperate to go back to Dubai,” Ahmed conceded.
When asked what will happen to his dream of winning the elections and saving the country, Ahmed clarified, “He’s not going back for ever. He’ll go there on weekends, watch the dance, and come back. That’s enough to save himself and Pakistan.”
Meanwhile, in India, self-declared celebrity-turned-analyst KKR (Kamaal R Khan) has claimed that he owned every nightclub in Dubai and Musharraf used to pay him for the services.
Possibly Related News:
Bangalore. Soon after the schedule for Karnataka Assembly elections were announced, intelligence agencies issued high alert for the entire state. However, this alert was not to warn civilians against possible terror strikes, but possible cheating by various tricksters who are suspected to get active as polling date gets nearer.
“We suspect a deluge of false promises, exaggerated claims, and fake shows of empathy in coming weeks,” a security officer revealed, “Citizens should be aware and prepare themselves for this eventuality.”
Such signs would be put across the state which will be ignored by the public
Security officials clarified that their job was not to act and stop such threats as they were part and parcel of the democratic process.
“The law of the land allows such things to happen, we can only ask people to be alert,” the official clarified.
It is the first time that such a high alert has been issued, even though experts and historians point out that such planned deception and hoax has been taking place periodically – at least once every five years.
“I think it’s too late and futile to issue this advisory and declare a state of high alert,” Ganesh Shenoy, an expert claimed, “People are now attuned to it. In fact, they look forward to it.”
Experts claim that the modus operandi of such tricksters is only not much different from the common cheats and frauds, especially those loot poor passengers in trains by making them unconscious after offering them drugged sweets.
“Like those common cheats, these tricksters get friendly with their targets and even voice concern over the ongoing loot by condemning fellow cheats. They offer sweet promises, and sometimes petty cash and liquor,” Ganesh drew the parallel.
“However there is one difference – while the common cheats vanish after the act, these special tricksters don’t do the vanishing act and instead come back again and again to rip off the unsuspecting citizens,” he added.
Experts further claim that this menace of looting through false promises will go beyond politics and elections in the coming weeks.
“IPL is coming up and some former employees of Kingfisher Airlines have threatened to stop matches of Royal Challengers Bangalore if their dues were not paid. In such a scenario, one can expect Vijay Mallya to adopt the same ticks by promising salaries, thus making the employees fall in line,” another expert explained how the high alert was relevant but futile.
When Faking News asked if the “high alert” would be of no use and might end up in yet another “intelligence failure”, experts answered in affirmative.
“Intelligence failure of the common man,” pat came the clarification.
(originally written for and published in English daily DNA)
Possibly Related News:
New Delhi. Ravi Kumar, an avid user of life-saving services like Twitter and Facebook, got a life-changing idea earlier today, but he preferred to pass time on Twitter and Facebook rather than acting on the idea.
“Well, it was not an idea that could have cured AIDS or cleaned politics of India, but it was surely an idea that would have changed the life of Ravi a little,” a source (Ravi’s frustrated father) told Faking News.
A representative picture of Ravi at work
Ravi, whose life is in real mess allegedly due to his internet addiction (as confirmed by the source) got the idea of doing some real work in real life and get his life in order for a few hours, but couldn’t summon enough enthusiasm to act on the idea.
“Well, I did think of taking a bath (after five days) as it’s getting hotter these days, and I also thought I’d read up a little as the syllabus backlog was piling up, but right at that time I saw Shreya’s new picture uploaded on Facebook,” Ravi recalled how he missed the historic opportunity to change his life a little.
After liking Shreya’s picture and commenting “wow, looking nice ya”, Ravi went on to check her entire Facebook album, totally forgetting about the idea he had got earlier.
“She was really looking beautiful, I even went out in the balcony to see if she was in her balcony,” Ravi recalled the only physical work he did the whole day.
“She want’s there so I came back home, I mean the homepage of Facebook, and by then there was this anti-Sehwag post that this asshole had put, and it totally put me off,” Ravi recalled how his life-changing idea was dumped in favor of settling some scores on internet, as he switched to Twitter to abuse the anti-Sehwag guy from his fake account.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Ravi said when asked when he might get another idea to act upon. He was busy typing something on internet past midnight (technically ‘tomorrow’), when reports last came in.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. Bollywood superstar Salman Khan, who is facing various court cases like hit-and-run and blackbuck poaching case, has decided to get married and have kids as soon as possible.
He took this decision after Justice Katju wrote to Maharashtra governor requesting him to pardon Sanjay Dutt, who has been sentenced to five years in jail by the Supreme Court of India.
In his letter, Katju pointed out that Sanjay Dut was married and had got little children, hence he should be pardoned.
Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt have a lot in common apart from Bigg Boss
“Salman had always feared that he might get a stringent punishment in one of the cases, but he saw a ray of hope when Katju wrote that letter. He went through the letter to find out what all it needs to be eligible for being pardoned despite a SC ruling,” a close aide of Salman told Faking News.
Katju has listed six points why Sanjay Dutt should be pardoned, and Salman found that he fulfilled five out of those six criteria.
The first reason cited by Katju was that the incident was old and Sanjay Dutt had suffered a lot during the period, such as going to court often and facing professional problems. Salman too had been doing the rounds of courts and thinks he has suffered a lot.
The second reason cited by Katju pointed out that Sanjay Dutt had already spent some time in jail. Ditto with Salman Khan.
In his fourth point, Katju argues that Sanjay Dutt was not a terrorist; similarly Salman Khan was not a drunk truck driver killing people or an illegal poacher making bucks by killing bucks.
The fifth point put forward by Katju argued that Sanjay Dutt’s parents were good people and had done a lot for the society. Salman scored even here as his father Salim Khan had written the story and dialogs of wonderful movies like Sholay, which helped the Indian society grow and mature.
The sixth and final point mentioned by Justice Katju hinted towards the movie Lage Raho Munnabhai starring Sanjay Dutt, which revived the memory and the message of Gandhiji.
“Well, even Salman Bhai has done movies like Dabangg, which spreads the message of victory of good over evil, and socially responsible movies like Bodyguard, which spreads the message of equality between people despite a person doing menial job – something even Gandhiji said,” the close aide of Salman Khan argued why Sallu bhai was similar to Sanju baba.
“The only point not matching is the third one, where Katju cites Sanjay Dutt being married and having children. Bhai will soon marry and solve this problem,” the aide confirmed.
Possibly Related News:
Mumbai. While the controversy surrounding CBI raids at DMK leader Stalin’s houses is still to subside, fresh raids have been carried out by the investigating agency at NCP chief Sharad Pawar’s residence.
“We are not trying to recover anything, in fact, there are no charges pending against Mr. Pawar in our files as of now,” CBI chief Ranjit Sinha clarified, “These are anticipatory raids, just like those anticipatory bails.”
Pawar is seen here thinking about the CBI
Sinha told Faking News that CBI had to come up with this idea of “anticipatory raids” to make sure that the government was stable, and so was the daily routine of the CBI officers.
“One fine day some neta wakes up in bad mood, utters something stupid, and the whole government becomes unstable. This is quickly followed by calls to our offices and we have to work overtime to dig old files and carry fresh raids. This was becoming too taxing,” the CBI chief claimed.
He further claimed that many CBI officers had to cancel their planned leaves and the morale of the force was down.
“Their married lives are under strain and their kids taunt that it was better if they had joined the fake CBI team under Akshay Kumar,” he grumbled.
After much internal protests, the CBI chief gave in to the demands of carrying raids that were planned at the CBI headquarters than planned at some other headquarter.
“And that’s how we came up with the idea of anticipatory raids – and our first target was NCP, the biggest UPA ally after DMK pulled out,” explained Ranjit Sinha.
When contacted, NCP sources confirmed that the government was stable and Sharad Pawar didn’t have any undeclared assets (even though CBI didn’t press any such charge in their maiden anticipatory raid).
Possibly Related News:
New Delhi. Out of favor Indian opener, Virender Sehwag has appointed himself as the lifetime captain of the cricket team of his school, Sehwag International School (SIS). Sehwag has given himself admission in class IX of his own school to become eligible to represent it in school-level cricket tournaments.
Sehwag International School is a school founded by Virender Sehwag, located near the town of Jhajjar in Haryana.
Sehwag wants you in his team
Speaking exclusively to Faking News, Virender Sehwag said, “I had always dreamt of becoming the captain of an international cricket team. I achieved this dream in patches for India when the regular captains were unfit but was never able to nail down the spot permanently. Now that a return to the team itself looks difficult, I have stopped thinking about Indian team’s captaincy and decided to move on. My school is an international school, naam me hi dalwa diya tha, so the captain of my school’s cricket team will be the captain of an international cricket team. My dream will be fulfilled.”
When we asked whether he is retiring from international cricket, Sehwag replied, “What is this yaar! I am telling you that I am becoming the captain of an international team and you are asking whether I am retiring from international cricket. Journalist ho kya? I am not retiring from international cricket, IPL cricket, or even Galli cricket, which I play in the JK Cement ad.”
Sehwag also told us that he had requested his longtime friend and opening partner Gautam Gambhir to join him at SIS as player-cum-coach but Gambhir turned down that offer in favor of a spot in the Jammu & Kashmir Ranji team.
When asked whether it will be difficult for him to play in school-level tournaments with players half his age, Sehwag replied, “No, not at all. Average age of players in Under-17 tournaments in Haryana is 30. I will blend right in.”
Possibly Related News:
New Delhi. Congress has found a solution to the political crisis created after DMK decided to pull out from the UPA government. The party has decided that the resolution against Sri Lanka, which will be put for adoption in the Parliament of India, will have a photo of Karunanidhi, and nothing else.
“We were struggling with what words to put in the resolution, because words like ‘genocide’ could have jeopardized our relationship with Sri Lanka, while absence of such words could have further jeopardized our relationship with DMK,” Parliamentary Affairs Minister Kamal Nath told Faking News.
DMK has been asked to provide such powerful pictures of their party chief that can be passed as a resolution against Sri Lanka
Sources inform that Congress core group, after a two hour meeting, couldn’t finalize the wordings of the resolution; let alone taking the draft resolution to alliance partners and subsequently to other political parties of India.
With time running out, the party decided to move a resolution that had no words at all in the draft.
“This is a first in any democracy across the world, and we are proud to take this step under the leadership of Madam Sonia Gandhi – a woman of strong resolve – and Dr. Manmohan Singh – a man of few words,” Kamal Nath justified the wordless resolution.
To make the resolution strong and critical of atrocities by Sri Lankan army on Tamils, a high resolution picture of Karunanidhi will be used.
“The picture would be of at least of 18 megapixels clarity, one megapixel for every DMK Lok Sabha MP,” a source claimed. After Faking News asked for further clarification, the source rejected that ‘megapixel’ was a code word for something like ‘crore rupees’.
“This should make DMK happy and we hope that they will come back to the UPA,” Kamal Nath hoped.
Since the resolution will have no words, and hence nothing to debate upon, Congress expects the Parliament to pass it after a walkout by the AIADMK and a couple of hours of disruptions by other parties where they might object to colors used in the picture.
“You know, something like proportion of colors lie saffron, green, red, blue, etc. in the picture,” Kamal Nath explained, “We are open to feedbacks and suggestions by the parties and make some amendments to the resolution accordingly.”
No related news.
New Delhi. Janta Dal (United) leader Sharad Yadav today staged a walkout from the Parliament even though he was not protesting against anything. A detailed inquiry later revealed that he was following a woman whom he found a bit good looking.
Sharad Yadav’s eyes after spotting beauty
“It’s not yet clear if the woman was any MP or had come to see the proceedings from the visitor’s gallery, but she caught the attention of Mr. Yadav,” a parliament source confirmed.
Earlier in the day, during a parliamentary debate on anti-rape bill, Sharad Yadav had argued that it was natural for a man to follow or chase girls if he finds them attractive.
“Sharad ji appreciates beauty. He had complimented a woman reporter earlier, and this time he might have wanted to compliment this mystery woman who was seen in the parliament’s premises,” a close friend of Sharad Yadav told Faking News.
While many activists have criticized the JD(U) leader for chasing random women, he received support from Mulayam Singh Yadav.
“You should appreciate Sharad ji that he only followed the woman, and didn’t wink or whistle at her,” said the Samajwadi Party leader, “In fact, this incident proves that women’s reservation bill is a bad idea. It will cause frequent walkouts and waste time of the nation.”
Possibly Related News:
Mohali. In a shocking turn of events, Mickey Arthur has been dropped as Australia’s coach for the fourth and final test match against India in Delhi for forgetting to give homework to the Australian cricket team.
The four players who were dropped for the 3rd test are set to return and Michael Clarke will double up as the Coach cum captain taking cue from IPL teams.
In what was supposed to be a regular team meeting post test matches, the entire Australian team was waiting with bated breath for Mickey Arthur to show up and give them their next homework. The wait went on for a couple of hours but Mickey did not turn up. The Aussie cricketers went back shocked. Few players were happy though as they were not going to be subject to more homework.
“Usually at the end of a test match, Mickey has a chat with the team and gives us the next assignments. The boys (mostly) love it and have learnt various skills in MS PowerPoint. I had a discussion with Mickey on Day 4 and we were looking to give them an MS Excel assignment this time around,” Clarke confirmed.
Arthur is least bothered with the latest development
He added further that “Mickey did not turn up for the meeting and has been missing ever since. We as a unit have always stressed on the importance of culture and attitude. Mickey unfortunately could not comply with it and we had to take the tough decision of dropping him. It was a circle in the sand decision.”
This Faking News reporter managed to get hold of Mickey Arthur. He was in his business attire and was making his way out of BCCI’s office in Mumbai. He was trying to shy away from the media, but our reporter managed to corner him.
“Well, I have to take care of my future as well. There are 10 Ashes tests coming up and with this team behind me, there is a chance of another whitewash. Cricket Australia will most certainly sack me,” Mickey Arthur said.
“I have heard BCCI takes overseas defeats and whitewashes lightly and a home series defeat is excusable too. I was just checking with them on future avenues with the Indian team,” he revealed.
On being informed about the sack from the team for the last match, Arthur said that he was willing to take it up on his chin taking into consideration his long term aspirations.
“My future allegiance lies with BCCI and Indian Cricket. I am sure being dropped for one match doesn’t hurt me or the team,” said Mickey with a smirk.
BCCI Officials confirmed that Mickey Arthur had indeed visited the BCCI office to express his interest in offering his services to Indian Cricket. He has applied for two positions: One, for being the Indian coach when Duncan Fletcher’s contract expires next year, and another for the commentator’s position to replace VVS Laxman.
BCCI is reportedly more interested in his commentator’s application. Details are being worked out
A keen cricket follower and armchair critic, Sandhu Singh, commented on the latest development saying: “VVS, Australia and Torment have always been a special relationship. He first tormented the Aussies with his batting, and now in Australia’s tour of India he is tormenting us with his commentary. Mickey Arthur will be a much better replacement. And Oh yes, Sachin must retire!”
Meanwhile, Rahane was seen surfing TCS’s site looking for job openings or Walk-ins in Delhi.
Possibly Related News:
