The army exam conducted in Muzzafarpur, where candidates were asked to strip down to their undergarments has got Johnny Lever concerned. Check out the video where he is seen trying to make his way to the exam center, hoping that no one recognizes him.
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Delhi: As the annual fight over Nursery admissions in Delhi looms ahead, 35 yrs old Amit Kumar is busy revising everything he learned in college to prepare for his 3 yrs old son’s Nursery admission interview.
Amit studying for “The Interview”
Securing their child’s admission in Nursery is one of the greatest struggles of a person living in Delhi. Some mothers have described this ordeal as being more painful than the actual process of giving birth to a child. Amit wants to be prepared and doesn’t want to risk his child’s future through lack of preparation.
Sharing details of his preparations with Faking News, Amit said, “Well as you know getting admission in a good school in Delhi is incredibly hard and getting admission in Nursery class is almost impossible. The interviews these days are very tough and more than the child, schools interview the parents of the child. This is why I am preparing myself well for the interview. I have already revised all my notes for the IIT-JEE entrance; I am done with my B.Tech. syllabus and plan to complete M.Tech. syllabus before the interview date.”
“It is not that my child Aniket isn’t preparing for the interview as well. He has already read Shakespeare, is doing sums of Trigonometry and Co-ordinate geometry. He can also explain the entire periodic table of elements including the physical and chemical properties of each element. Competition these days is so fierce that one has to prepare for everything. Who knows what these schools will ask during the interview”, Amit added.
Amit expressed confidence that their preparation will be enough to secure a spot in one of the leading schools in Delhi and they won’t have to face the ignominy of sending their child to a government school.
When we asked the chairman of a leading school in Delhi what do they ask during the interview for Nursery admissions, he replied, “Money.”
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Bengaluru: An employee working for a major IT company, who took bath and shaved after a gap of 6 months, was mistaken to be a new recruit by the HR department and was asked to complete joining formalities.
Transformation of an IT employee after 6 months into the job
Amit Balasubramaniam, who works as a senior programmer at Infosick Technologies was mistaken to be a new joinee by the HR staff after he reported to work clean shaven after a gap of 6 months.
Speaking to Faking News, Amit recounted his harrowing experience saying that he struggled to explain to not just the HR manager but also his colleagues that he was not a ‘new employee’.
“I realized that something was wrong from the moment I entered office. I was asked to wait at the reception. The HR manager handed me a welcome kit and asked me fill a few forms. I filled it without realizing that they were for new employees. You see, after working for 8 years in the company I am accustomed to doing things without questioning,” he said.
Apparently, Amit had to flash his id card to his colleagues to convince them that he was indeed Amit.
HR dept. in its defense said, “Since the time our new CEO announced casual dressing on weekdays, these people have stopped shaving and taking a bath. I have forgotten how most of our employees look beneath those piles of facial hair. I think apart from decorating the office, sending Happy Birthday mails, distributing Sodexho coupons etc, HR will also have to include hair cut and shaving in their job description.”
Sources also say that the company is not taking chances and is taking necessary precautions so that an ‘Amit like’ incident doesn’t happen again.
“We are leveraging technology to deal with this problem. Water sprinklers for fire safety are lying idle. We have designed a system where those sprinklers will turn on automatically when an employee reports to work without having bath for more than a week,” said the Head of HR at Infosick.
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Chennai: After casting doubts over extent of Afzal Guru’s involvement in Parliament attacks, senior Congress leader and former finance minister P Chidambaram has raised several doubts over another high profile case, involvement of Kattappa in Bahubali’s murder.
Nirdosh Katappa ko nyay mile
Katappa’s history of working for the royal family with great loyalty in the past is believed to have lead to this bizarre statement by Mr Chidambaram, notwithstanding his own confession on Bahubali’s killing.
Speaking to Faking News, Chidambaram said, “We cannot believe what Katappa said as there is no proof that he killed Bahubali. He has constantly failed lie detector tests when he said he murdered the warrior. I feel it is BJP’s treacherous tactic to put Katappa behind the bars and capture Mahishmati kingdom. BJP has always followed divisive agenda and I will not be surprised if they planned this murder to create division between Bahubali and Bhallala Deva.”
“We can’t just go by his confession alone as it could have been made under duress. Were there any human rights activists there to monitor the interrogation process? Who knows what post-retirement job was offered to the police officers for extracting this confession out of Katappa. I feel there should be an independent probe led by Supreme Court monitored SIT before we conclude that Katappa indeed murdered Bahubali”, Mr Chidambaram said.
Meanwhile, Bahubali fans across the nation have been outraged by this comment by Mr Chidambaram. A group of people gathered at Jantar-Mantar and burned Mr Chidambaram’s effigy for trying to deny justice to Bahubali’s late spirit. Shouts of “Bahubali hum sharminda hain, Katappa abhi tak zinda hai”, “Mahishmati tere tukde honge” were heard all over the national capital.
Hearing these chants, Former Police commissioner Mr BS Bassi has offered to rejoin service and book them under sedition law of Mahishmati.
Meanwhile, Congress has decided to make Mr Chidambaram Congress in-charge for Tamil Nadu elections so that he doesn’t get much time to see any more films.
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Hollywood, California: Having made a name for himself by making complex movies with plots that are hard to understand, Christopher Nolan is all set to launch his latest project- EPF Tax.
Nolan trying to understand EPF Tax
As per the latest budget presented by Finance Minister of India, Mr Arun Jaitley, 60% of EPF will be taxed at prevailing rate of applicable income tax. It will not be taxed if it is reinvested in annuity (We think). Even after several clarifications by ministry sources, people haven’t yet got any clarity on how this tax will be applied or why this tax has been introduced in the first place. Mr Nolan couldn’t resist himself after hearing such a confusing plot and bought the rights for the movie.
“My movies aim to push the boundaries of human brain. They are never meant to be understood by a person in one viewing. Looking at the way this EPF Tax in India has kept everyone confused for 3 days even after half a dozen clarifications by the ministry, this is a perfect subject for me”, Christopher Nolan said.
Nolan further added, “Generally I try to add layers of complexity to the subject to make it more intriguing for the viewers. However, this time I will try to remove layers of complexities from the subject so that people understand the film in maximum 3 viewings. If I make the film totally based on reality, some heads may explode out of sheer confusion.”
Bollywood has welcomed this move by Christopher Nolan to make films on an Indian subject. “Obviously Nolan will cast someone Indian to play the role of Indian Finance Minister. After Priyanka and Deepika, some more Indian actors will find work in a Hollywood film. This is great for our industry”, said a movie critic.
“Our reviews will also change for Nolan’s film. We generally advise Indian audience to leave their brains at home for a Bollywood film. For this film on EPF, we will advise them to borrow their neighbor’s brain as well while going to the cinema”, the critic added.
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New Delhi: After dropping a bombshell on salaried employees by imposing a tax on employee provident fund (EPF), Government has decided to go after the savings collected by children in their Piggy banks.
“We can’t be seen as being selectively biased against the salaried class so we have decided to tax everyone’s savings, including children’s. Many people were saying that government is taxing only its core vote base of middle class Indians so we decided to tax those who aren’t even eligible to vote. This shows how impartial we are while screwing people”, a finance ministry spokesman told Faking News.
“Piggy banks will be taxed similarly to EPF. Children will not be allowed to access the money in their Piggy banks till they reach adulthood. Once they reach adulthood, they will be taxed if they take out all the money in their bank at the same time. If they agree to a monthly payment from the government, they can escape this tax. All the deposits in Piggy banks from 1st April onward will be covered in this Piggy tax”, the Finance ministry spokesman said explaining Piggy Bank Tax.
When we asked why the government is trying to control a child’s own money, the spokesman said, “See this is for the benefit of these children only. We want to discourage them from taking out all the money at the same time as they may blow it all up on alcohol and cigarettes that they may think about buying once they become an adult. We want to promote monthly payment schemes as this will ensure regular pocket money for a long time.”
Every child owning a Piggy Bank will have to register online with their Aadhar Card within next 30 days. Any unregistered Piggy bank will be deemed illegal and can be confiscated by the government without any further notice.
Meanwhile, Opposition parties are not sure whether to oppose this move or not as children aren’t anybody’s vote bank.
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Bengaluru: In an attempt to keep a check on their employees, IT major Tinfosys has asked all their employees working from home to start living in office now.
Employee living at work
As per Tinfosys HR, this move is aimed at improving the lifestyle of their employees and inculcating healthy habit in them.
“We have found out that most of our employees working from home have turned into couch potatoes. They just laze around and watch TV 24X7 while eating fast food and guzzling unhealthy beers and cold drinks. They aren’t taking any breaks to go to gym, not playing TT or even Chess and it is affecting their health adversely. To counter this, we have asked them to start living in office so that we can give them appropriate breaks from staring at a screen”, Tinfosys HR Megha Singhal told us.
Megha further went on to say, “This will be great for team building. We will be with each other at all times. We can bond better. It will be like a family atmosphere. Just how exciting and path breaking will that be? Maybe it will finally help us counter the rising attrition rates as well.”
However, this decision has drawn a lot of flak from employees working remotely ever since its announcement.
An outraged Ranjit Singh told this Faking News correspondent, “Bhai when I have to sit on a bench whole day then what difference does it make that the bench is at home or at office? Torrents are also blocked in the office, what will I do whole day? This is exploitation of employees by the management.”
Another employee, 30 yrs old Chinmay said, “This will be a bit of a problem since I haven’t got anything to wear while living in the office. I haven’t bought any formal clothes for the past 6 months since I started working from home. None of the clothes I had earlier fit me now thanks to this beer belly that I have developed over these 6 months. Now either I spend a fortune buying all new clothes or go to office in these boxers only.”
Despite major protests, management seems confident that this move will catch on. “This idea of living in office will be like Ashish Nehra in the Indian team. Initially people wondered why has he been brought back but now everyone loves him”, said a hopeful Megha Singhal.
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