Man claims he drove in Delhi without using a single cuss-word; Experts rubbish claim

Delhi: In an incident that may leave many social scientists speechless, a certain Nirbhik Singh Fernandes claimed on Friday that he drove during rush hours in Delhi traffic without using a single cuss-word. Fernandes, originally from Kochi, is living in Delhi for 7 years and after many attempts, he eventually managed an abuse free ride in the capital.  

Police checking for abuse free driving

“I am glad to report that I did not have to use a single cuss-word during my 95-minute drive from my office to my residence.” a beaming Fernandes told Faking News, “It was a very nice experience and I am happy to prove to the world that one can drive in Delhi without abusing.” 

“I always love a challenge and spending over an hour in Delhi traffic without abusing even once was as tough a challenge as I ever faced. Many times I almost slipped up and let out an abuse after watching the autos going zigzag, bike riders overtaking from wrong side and going without helmets or car drivers honking without any rhyme or reason but I held on”, Fernandes said.

When we asked Fernandes how he prepared for this feat, he replied, “Well, Yoga and meditation combined with a lot of practice. First I sat through a Sajid Khan film without abusing, then I saw 5 episodes of Sasural Simar Ka without going WTF and then I moved to a higher level of passing through Delhi traffic without abusing.”

Meanwhile, an NGO Drivers without lanes has rubbished the claim. “It is utter nonsense. You can drive ten kilometers without petrol because anyway the traffic around you will keep pushing you, but you can’t do whatever this man, Fernandes or whatever, claims.” Jamna Lal Sharma, Secretary DWL, told us over phone.

Meanwhile, social activists have requested Delhi Government to start a campaign against abuse free driving to maintain Delhi culture.

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