Sunday, November 1, 2015

Recent surge in Start-ups and Stand Up comedians worries leading CEOs

New Delhi: National level CII meet held in Delhi concluded with the CEOs demanding government to ban Start-Ups and Stand-up Comedians. CEOs of all leading companies showed concern over the recent surge in number of professionals opting for start-ups and stand-up comedy.

Worried CEO after reading another resignation letter

Worried CEO after reading another resignation letter

“Previously, when our employees got bored from their 9am-7pm job, they used to opt for MBA and always came back to us after completing it. But now they are opting for start-ups and comedy shows. As a result of which we are running short of cheap labor….er…I mean talented workforce,” said Akash Chakrborty, CEO, BigFinanceCompany Ltd.

Faking News got in touch with an ex-employee of the company who has created a mobile app for online booking of time slots at barbers’ shop and hair cutting salons.

“Startup is the new coolest thing. I mean it looks so cool to write CEO on your facebook profile. I got 500 likes when I updated my profile,” Abhijeet replied when asked about why he choose a start-up over the BigFinanceCompany.

Ranjit Bajwa, CEO of the BigFMCGCompany Ltd. demanded an increase in the tuition fees of leading B-Schools to prevent MBA grads from joining start-ups or become stand-up comedians.

He said, “Only an increase in the burden of education loan can stop them. I urge all the IIMs to increase their fees gain and this time by at least 50%.”

This demand of CEOs has been vehemently opposed by the startup founders and self-proclaimed stand-up comedians. “I have been single all my life. Kabhi kisi ladki ne bhao nahi diya. But things changed after I left my job to become a stand-up comedian. I am getting their attention now. I am hopeful to get laid very soon,” said Rajesh Pandey, currently recovering in Rama Rao hospital after being beaten-up the audience of his first show.

All the start-up founders and comedians have formed AIRFA (All India Recent Fad Association) to oppose the CEOs. “After watching a show online I was pretty convinced that ‘main Beer hun’. So I left my job and created a mobile app that suggest users best places to click selfies. I won’t let anybody take this away from me. We strongly oppose ban on start-ups and comedians,” said one of the founding members of AIRFA.

Raju Chadha, another member of the association said, “You can’t wake up one day and say I want to be a cricketer or a painter or a singer but you can say I want a start-up or I want to be a stand comedian. The advantage is you can start at any point of your career and these passions are also currently in-trend.” His start-up has created a mobile app that help other start-ups create mobile apps.

However, IT companies have not shown much of the concern. An employee from HR Department of a BigITCompany Ltd who chose to be anonymous, said, “We have clearly defined hiring policies. We only hire people who are neither ambitious nor talented. So there is no chance that they can go to a start-up or become a comedian.”

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