Asteroid on collision path with earth takes U-turn after it is severely criticized by TV expert

Gravity Space Station: An asteroid carrying 3.5 trillion dollar worth of precious metals which was originally headed for earth has changed its direction soon after veteran Indian politician Money Shanker Iyer was found criticizing the asteroid on national television. The asteroid has turned 180 degrees and is now seen moving away from earth. It is expected to collide with Jupiter now.

Collision averted thanks to Money Shankar Iyer

“This asteroid is nothing but a dog, a maniac and a maniac lame dog. It’s a snake whose head needs to be smashed. It’s a Persian messenger that needs to be kicked in the pit of death. I criticize it in most heinous words possible,” Iyer fumed in anger during an interview which was telecast across major news channels in India.

Soon after this interview Bhutan Indigenous Space and Technology Research Organization (BISTRO) released latest space captures of the asteroid, and a sharp turn in its path is clearly visible.

Daneesh Bagheria, chief research scientist at BISTRO explained these observations to media and said, “The talk show where Mr. Iyer took the case of poor asteroid was aired all across India at around 09:30 PM IST and the asteroid took a sharp turn at around 09:33 PM IST. These events which appear unrelated may actually be closely related.”

While Mr. Iyer has been known to severely criticize politicians, actors and other normal individuals across the country, this was the first time he criticized a heavenly body, such as an asteroid.

The repercussions of this U-turn by the asteroid were seen all across the globe. Research scientists at NASA who had been working on an anti-asteroid missile for months saw their whole effort go down the drain.

Cohen Johner, a senior astro-physicist at NASA expressed his dejection to media in following words, “It’s not only about millions of dollars we lost because the asteroid which we were trying to deflect changed its path on its own. It’s about lost dreams. The current ilk of young scientists at NASA are all kids of a generation which grew up watching Hollywood movies where NASA scientists created rockets that deflected asteroid and saved earth. That was the heroic victory we were aiming for. But some Indian politician just wakes up one day and beats the shit outta asteroid and the heavenly body just simply runs away? Our dreams of a heroic endeavor are crushed.”

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