Faking News - leading news satire website of India: April 2016

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Rajdeep effect: Mallya claims his bank account was hacked and loans applied for

London, UK. Inspired by celeb journalist Rajdeep Sardesai claiming that his account was hacked and the mysterious hacker sent a few abusive private messages, celeb businessman Vijay Mallya too has claimed that his bank account was hacked and the mysterious hacker applied for loans that he was unable to pay now.

“How low will some people now stoop? Hack my bank account? Apply for huge loans? When will this end? Time to not come back to India. Enough is enough.” Mallya tweeted this morning revealing the secrets of his bad loans.

Vijay Mallya reacted after giving the statement

After sending out this public tweet, Mallya immediately cancelled his statement saying he wanted to come back to India. Now he insists that he will come back to India only after this hacker is punished and all his bad loans are pardoned.

When Faking News got in touch with Mallya and asked him that why would someone hack his account and instead of taking out some money, rather put some more money in his account by applying for loans, he said that such questions were unfair and amounted to defamatory insinuations.

“If Rajdeep’s hacker can send only 3-4 abusive private messages to random people and no publicly abusive tweet that could have done bigger damage, why can’t my hacker apply for loans instead of withdrawing money?” the liquor baron asked sipping ~~Old Monk~~ Kingfisher strong.

“And obviously it is to give a bad image to me. Some people have been hired to finish me financially,” he made a startling claim.

When asked why did he take it as business as usual and not complain immediately when loans were granted to him, Mallya said that there was huge corruption in the banking system and the government must act against the corrupt bankers.

When we repeated the question, the former Kingfisher Group chairman disconnected the call. Experts say that the claim by Vijay Mallya might not impress either the judiciary or the media because he was not a journalist.

Friday, April 29, 2016

IT companies to chalk out a bay in office premises and name it ‘Onsite’

Mumbai: In a mad race of employees, where everyone dreams of onsite, IT companies have been struggling to meet the expectations of all. There are too many takers, for too less a pie. Exit interviews results show that a whopping 57.38% of the employees who quit, do so because they were not sent onsite.

The Onsite facility of the IT company

In a path breaking manner, one IT company has now come up with win-win a solution to this problem. They have chalked out a bay at the corner of the office and rechristened it “Onsite”.

The bay will be a closed one with limited access and finger print entry for seclusion. The entry doorway will also be made separate once the idea is put into place.

All the employees who clamor for onsite opportunities will be sent to this bay for a duration of 3~6 months. The bay is designed from inside to have a feeling like US / Europe.

The ACs are set to a perpetual 15 degrees Celsius. The walls will have posters of Elvis, Johny Depp and Donald Trump. The landlines will be routed to a lady with an American Accent.

Toilets will have no jet sprays but only toilet paper. The social media apps too will be a part of this initiative. Auto face book check-ins at foreign locations will be done on the weekend basis.

To top it all, they will also be paid a per diem as per the dollar rates. The salary slip will read it as Onsite Remuneration to constantly remind them of the fact that they are onsite. (Equivalent amount will be deducted from their special allowance to make sure that the company’s bottom line is not adversely hit).

Before approval, employees will have to go through a mock visa interview as well. Sources suggest that Roadies fame Raghu has been roped in for this job to be a hard task via approver so that some employees simply back off at the application stage.

We could not elicit a response from the Employee Union leader, who has been busy packing his bags for his onsite stint.

On the other hand, HR of the IT firm has been patting its back after getting the proposal approved from the top management in the annual board meeting. In a comic-sans font reply to our mail, head of HR of a very large IT firm, based out of suburban locations, mentioned that he is confident that the move will help reduce the attrition by making people achieve their onsite dream without a jet lag.

Sources said the HR head himself is serving a notice period for not being promoted. May be the companies require another revolutionary idea to stop attrition for this cause. Pseudo promotions on the cards?

After TCS says it will hire close to a lac next year, engineering colleges warn the IT giant not to touch its office boys

Bangalore. After Tadu Consulting Services limited announced that it will hire close to a lac engineers next year, the engineering colleges across India are worried how to survive this hiring tsunami which will hit them any time post summer vacation.

Won’t let them take my office boys

Training and placement department head of a private engineering college, Mr. Virus (name changed on request) said, “Every year TCS will demand they must be the first to be called for on-campus interviews. We had to oblige them as traditionally they have taken the maximum from our college.”

Virus sir said, “Earlier I have seen one or two office boys missing after campus interview for the IT bellwether is over. I would be anxious to know where they are going and more often than not I would struggle to find suitable replacements. Last year on-campus was kind of eye opener for me. We lost five of our brilliant office boys. Luckily I caught one red handed to know the truth.”

“When IT professionals holding prestigious degrees like PMP, Scrum Master, Agile Project manager etc. are on interview board, accordingly I have to prepare my office boys who will serve them. I would instruct them to be on formals with leather shoes and tie. This kind immaculate dressing sense might have confused some who were taking interviews,” said Mr. Virus.

Mr. Virus told, “The other day I met my office boy Sanath whom I caught red handed to know how he got the job.” He said, “Sir, the panel started with the toughest set of questions like what’s your name, what are you hobbies. Then they moved towards slightly easier questions like whether you have passport and the last question was, what attracts you to TCS? May be I exceeded their expectation and got the offer”.

Mr. Virus said, “I have learnt my lessons well. This year onwards I have told my office boys to wear khaki dress like the way government office peons will do. Also we have written on their shirt, office boy. In addition to this I have told the IT giant, please let me know in advance how many you need from my college. I will arrange that many proper engineers and keep them ready for your service. Office boys are useful for us, you should not touch them. If you have problem with that, don’t come. We will give chance to Outfosys first.”

Known for serving more ice and less coffee, Tarabucks and Cafe Coffee Din to serve drinks without ice to solve water scarcity problem

Noida. Going against their rich culture of serving customers with ice when asked for cold coffee, Tarabucks and Cafe Coffee Din have decided to serve drinks without ice cubes in them owing to the prevalent water crisis in the country.

Your favorite drinks without ice, to help save water

Can customers bear the shock of having less ice

The resultant water saved would be diverted from the glasses and mugs of customers to the drought hit states.

Talking to the Chief Marketing Officer of Tarabucks regarding the decision taken, he said, “It’s a step taken by us as a part of Corporate Social (Media) Responsibility. The amount of ice we put in the customers can significantly help in irrigation in arid areas. We know customers will get few shocks initially when they will see more coffee than ice in their drinks, but we already have a relief plan to prevent them from such absurdities and anomalies.”

Mukesh Bansal, who visits these stores frequently to access free Wi-Fi, shared his views with us and said, “I used to pay 200 bucks at Tarabucks for drinks half-filled with ice. They had more flavors for ice than for coffee. Even Shikhar Dhawan’s batting innings used to last more than my drinks. I’m happy that now my drinks would last more and make me able to sit there for some more time. I can update more applications using their Wi-Fi.”

It has also been reported that both these companies have asked other companies in the industry to scrap the usage of ice in drinks under “Ice Chuck-it Challenge”.

Lays, the famous manufacturer of flavored air, on similar lines has decided to scrap the infusion of air in chips packets and supply the saved air to air-polluted cities.

Pet Dog bites owner after owner refuses to upload dog’s pic on Facebook

New Delhi: Pammi Ahuja, a Delhi based interior designer and wife of business man Gurinder Ahuja was taken to AIIMS after their pet dog Rambo bit the designer early this morning.

Rambo with his selfie

Apparently, Rambo was angry because his owner Pammi refused to upload a few pics of her pet dog on facebook. The couple have now filed an FIR against the dog for causing grievous injury. AIIMS sources reveal that doctors had to administer 5 stitches on Pammi’s forearm to close the wound.

“It was early morning and I was near the boundary wall of our bungalow trying to catch the open WiFi network from my neighbor when I heard her screams. I saw Rambo had bit my wife’s forearm. I don’t know why he did that, but Pammi told me it was because she refused to upload his selfie on Facebook,” said Mr. Ahuja while recording a statement at the local police station.

With a Facebook page of his own and 20k follower on Twitter, Rambo is no less than a social media celeb. Rambo’s arrest saw many of followers rallying behind him by trending #RamboIsInnocent on Twitter.

The Ahuja family is however in no mood to pardon their pet and have already made plans to send him to animal shelter. Sources say that Rambo has sought anticipatory bail.

This is the second such worrying incident in man-dog relationship, last being the case of 2013 when a dog unfriended his owner.

Meanwhile, Somnath Bharti’s pet Don, who heads the dog wing of Aam Aadmi Party, has extended his support to his fellow canine.

Friday faking releases: ( Hollywood: The Italian Job | Bollywood: Jeene Nahi Doonga )

Subramaniam Swamy is all set to expose the ‘Gandhi Family’ in this weeks Friday Faking Release. Find out all about Swamy’s relentless pursuit in bringing the guilty to justice in The Italian Job.

The Italian Job (*ing Sonia Gandhi and a few choppers )

In Jeene Nahi Doonga, watch Swamy as he haunts Sonia and Rahul with ‘incriminating evidence’ against their scams. Don’t miss Arnab Goswami’s cameo.

Jeene Nahi Doonga (*ing Sonia, Rahul, Swamy and Arnab )

Angry that no one noticed his brand new SUV, Delhi guy threatens to go on a world tour on JK tyre

New Delhi: A Delhi based businessman, angry with no one noticing is new SUV has threatened to go on a world tour in his new car.

A world tour to show off your new car

Ashish Khurana, who himself owns an automobile showroom in Vasant Kunj area of Delhi, bought an SUV a few days back and has been trying like everyone else to get people to notice his new car. But things didn’t turn out as expected for Mr. Khurana after his ‘selfie with SUV’ post on Facebook managed to get just 2 Likes.

Apparently, the automobile dealer has now threatened to go on a world tour on JK Tyres and make sure that his SUV gets the publicity that it deserves.

Our reporter caught up with Mr. Khurana to know more about his world tour. Speaking to our reporter from the driver’s seat of his SUV, he said, “I spent so much on this SUV and no one has even noticed it. I expected people to ask me a few questions, but even my social media efforts have gone down the drain. But with my next feat I am pretty sure that I will be ‘Breaking News’ on most news channels.”

When questioned about his insistence on JK tyres, Mr. Khurana replied, “A few days back I read about a guy who covered 50,000kms on JK tyres and Google tells me that the earth’s circumference is 40000kms. That leaves me with 10000kms to spare even after touring the world. It makes sense doesn’t it?”

“Besides, being in the automobile business I pretty well know that JK tyres can effortlessly endure the rough terrain, twists and turns of the tour. I know I will be stretching the limits, but that’s part of the game, he added.

Mrs. Khurana, however is skeptical and angry at not being part of the trip. “He never takes me anywhere. But that is a different story, he refused to take a spare tyre along saying the four JK tyres on the SUV will get him through the trip,” she said with raised eyebrows.

Neighbors too are not amused. Having put up with his eccentric behavior they have dismissed it as ‘Khurana’s desperation to show off’. “I remember the time when he bought a new watch. He ran the marathon with one arm raised in air. What better can you expect from him?” questioned Dilpreet Dhillon, his next door neighbor.

“Someone just told me that Khuranaji has been virtually touring the globe on Google Maps, hoping to ‘familiarize’ himself with the terrain. Isn’t that stupid. I bet he’ll turn back once he gets on the rough country side roads,” he scoffed.

But criticism has not dampened the enthusiasm of Ashish, who is confident that post his feat, he would be as popular as the CM of Delhi.

When questioned about a backup plan just in case, Mr. Khurana said, “The only thing left would be to open my own stall at the Auto Expo and pose in front of the car.”

Robert Vadra slams Sonia Gandhi for getting caught up in scams, asks her to come clean

New Delhi. Country’s favorite Son-in-law Robert Vadra today stunned the Congress party and the whole nation by slamming Sonia Gandhi for getting caught up in scams.

Faking News has learnt that Vadra was very upset after seeing the name of “Signora Gandhi” figuring in the Italian court judgment on AgustaWestland bribery case. He was particularly upset after seeing “fam” in handwritten note with list of those who were paid kickbacks.

Robert Vadra with Rahul Gandhi and Priyanka Gandhi

Vadra is not ready to listen

“This is very unprofessional on the part of Mrs. Gandhi. How can she allow the family’s name to appear in the bribery scandal? It hurts the image of honest farmers like me who are part of the family,” thundered Mr. Vadra.

The statement has shocked entire India as Vadra was not expected to name Sonia Gandhi. “I had still not recovered from the shock of Arvind Kejriwal mentioning Sonia Gandhi’s name, and now this! May god give me strength,” a political observer said.

Vadra, who of late has been commenting on many issues, especially those of corruption, is rumored to be eyeing the space vacated by Arvind Kejriwal, who once used to be an anti-corruption crusader before he joined Twitter and subsequently politics.

Vadra had only recently said that he was willing to join politics and serve people if that’s what people wanted.

“This helicopter scam is a big blot on my image by mere association with the family now. Now I’ll have to needlessly face questions about corruption by my family. The timing of this corruption coming out is suspect as I was just about to start serving people,” he said.

When Priyanka Vadra tried to confront Vadra, he slammed her too for getting caught up in alleged land scam in Himachal Pradesh.

“I demand that Sonia ji and her whole family come clean from these corruption allegations,” he added.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Obsessed with having the latest features, Smartphone maker forgets to include sim card slot in their latest model

Mumbai: Smartphone maker OneMinusOne, which recently launched the next generation of its flagship killer, had to recall its handsets after it was discovered that the phone was without a sim-card slot.

Feature rich but without a sim slot

Embarrassed company officials agreed that they went overboard with having the latest features and overlooked something as basic as a slot for inserting sim-card.

Speaking to Faking News the Chief Product Manager of 2MinusTwo said, “It’s true that we completely missed putting a slot. So we have recalled the handsets. Even for those who don’t wish to replace it, we have a solution at hand. For them, we are providing external sim-card slots that can be connected via a c-type cable for making calls.”

When questioned about obsession with features, the Product Manager reluctantly agreed that there was indeed an oversight. “We were too busy looking for a differentiating factor. In our latest model we have a button that turns your mobile screen into a mirror; we went ahead of fingerprint scanner and included a DNA scanner, and also gesture recognition that will mute Watsapp group when you flash the middle finger. But yes we did miss out on that sim card slot,” he said while trying to sound as if the exclusion was not a big issue.

Experts say that this might just be a sign of things to come and in future, smart phones may actually get rid of the sim slot.

“There is stagnation in the smartphone market. Even companies like Apple are finding it hard to sell their iPhones. I don’t think there are any more features to add to a smartphone, so let’s start deleting some,” said Tutu Aneja, a digital expert from Delhi.

“Minimization seems to be the future of smartphone. Who knows, the next iPhone could just be a fancy slab of glass and we might have to pretend that we are making calls with it,” he added.

Meanwhile, OneMinusOne’s oversight has also given an opportunity to rival Macromax, which is desperately trying to regain some market share, to push its lastest offering.

“Our latest smartphone is nothing like you have seen before. It has a D-type USB port. Godzilla glass screen, 500GB storage for your storage needs, 64 GB RAM, and an inverter to make sure that once charged your phone battery will last for 6 months,” said Rahul Mishra, CEO of the company.

Kejriwal asks Center to run “Vayudoot” trains for bringing fresh air from other states to Delhi

New Delhi. In a scathing attack against the Center and the Prime Minister, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal has demanded Modi to work with other states and make them send “Vayudoot” trains to Delhi i.e. trains carrying fresh air from scenic parts of the country, in order to fight the state’s pollution which seems unaffected by the odd-even rule.

Kejriwal started with a question as he spoke to Faking News. “When Modi can send water to the drought-affected areas, why can’t he send fresh air from serene places like Uttarakhand, Ooty and Kodaikanal?” he asked the PM in what seemed like a direct attack on him.

“Look at these people breathing fresh air, can’t they help Delhi people?”

“Those trains can directly run around Delhi and pump fresh air in the atmosphere, and thereby, sustain Delhi’s biosphere,” said Kejriwal as he continued to explain the reason behind his suggestion.

The demand by the AAP supremo and Delhi CM is reported to be inspired by Jaldoot trains run by the center, which ferries water to drought hit areas.

Neutral experts say that the demand is not absurd and the center should think about it.

“Don’t we have oxygen cylinders?” a neutral expert cum independent commentator explained, “The idea of carrying air for breathing where it is in scarcity is perfectly scientific, and so is the idea to have Vayudoot trains. Delhi is not too far away from places like Shimla and Nainital, which are well connected with railways, so execution shouldn’t be a problem.”

Delhi CM praised the independent commentator and re-tweeted the neutral expert before revealing that the massive ads given by the Delhi government were actually a part of this plan to demand Vayudoot trains.

“Our ads about odd-even have been aired on national television channels and we have even given print ads in local newspapers of many states. Now all these states know our problem. They must come together and help us. If they don’t do it, we’ve to conclude that woh sab mile huye hain,” Kejriwal said, appealing for help.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

FB wall: Nitish Kumar’s FB wall after advising people to avoid Puja and cooking during the day

Kanhaiya Kumar buys Vijay Mallya’s private jet at an auction; will fight against Capitalism

Mumbai: Communist student leader and latest high profile victimhood player Kanhaiya Kumar today out bid everyone at an auction to buy Vijay Mallya’s luxury corporate jet, a modified Airbus A319, for $100 million.

Mallya’s aircraft equipped with basic necessities

The VT-VJM aircraft is a corporate jet having 25 passengers seating capacity and 6 crew seating capacity exclusively designed for exotic and luxurious use. The aircraft has attractive exterior and interior layout and design.

The auction process was carried out by the service tax department to recover over Rs.370 crores in dues and penalty from Vijay Mallya.

According to sources, after allegedly travelling in Business class from Pune to Mumbai, Kanhaiya Kumar realized that he is wasting a lot of time in boarding, waiting for other passengers, deboarding etc, a time that could have been better utilized in fighting capitalism. To cut out all those delays, he has decided to buy his own jet.

When reached for a comment, Kanhaiya’s PR manager said, “This corporate jet is not for personal benefit. It is a necessity for Kanhaiya as now-a-days he travels with an entourage everywhere to fight Capitalism and needs space for everyone. Also, this is needed for security purposes as more and more people are trying to attack him. As you know, last week someone tried to strangulate Kanhaiya by not offering him a window seat. This jet is much needed.”

Meanwhile, Vijay Mallya has also offered to sell some of his luxury homes to people fighting capitalism.

New CEO fails to change company logo even after 6 months of joining the company, asked to step down

Bengaluru: In a surprising move, BlueBell technologies, a major IT company based in Bengaluru, saw its CEO step down yesterday after just six months since he took over.

CEO fired for un-CEO like behavior

An email sent from the CEO’s mail id to all employees of the company revealed that the Chief Executive was keen on ‘pursuing other interests’ and decided to relinquish his services.

Company insiders however say that the reason for his axing was something different. A highly placed official said that the Board of Directors were not happy with the executive’s performance and decided to get rid of him.

“We have observing the CEO for quite some time now. To be fair to him, it would be too early to comment on his performance. But we found his behavior does not fit the position he’s been appointed for,” said Jay Gupta, who is part of the company board.

When asked to elaborate about the CEO’s behavior he said, “Since day 1, he’s always reported to work on time. Its common sense that CEO is not supposed to come to work before lunch time. This will set a bad precedent. Also, he has hardly spent any company money on business visits.”

“His performance too is raising eyebrows. We expected him to do something that befits his designation. You know like change the logo, reinvent the brand, and maybe change a few names here and there. I mean that’s like the unwritten rule. Look at Sundar Pichai. The first thing he did after being appointed as Google CEO was changing the logo,” said Mr. Gupta, with a dissatisfied look.

“Even his speeches are uninspiring. In all the six months that he has been here, even once have I not heard him say ‘employees are assets’, ‘We need to attract the right talent’, and so on. I mean, do we have to tell him all this,” said another director under condition on anonymity.

Sources say that shareholders too have lost confidence since the new CEO has taken over and the company does not want to take any chances with investor sentiments.

“The stock price fell by around 40% in the last six months. How long can we fool investors that the stock holds inherent value?” questioned a broker.

The company remains tight lipped on questions related to replacement for the CEO’s post but made it clear that the new hire would be adequately ‘familiarized’ with workplace etiquette.

Health ministry asks doctors to write prescriptions in Sanskrit, doctors reveal they are already doing so

New Delhi: After Mrs. Smriti Irani issued guidelines to IITs to start teaching Sanskrit, the Health ministry has also issued stringent guidelines to all doctors to start writing prescriptions in Sanskrit. In a startling revelation, the chemist association of India has clarified to the minister that prescriptions are already being written in Sanskrit.

It is Sanskrit, believe us

Doctors’ handwriting has been a secret for time immemorial with nobody being sure what exactly they write. Now, at least we have zeroed in on the language after this revelation.

Mr. Bobby Borolis, a famous doctor from chawdi bazar area of New Delhi threw more light on this whole issue. He said, “We got this order from health ministry to start using Sanskrit and felt very offended. We have always been using Sanskrit and instead of recognizing our efforts to keep Sanskrit alive, they send us an order to use Sanskrit? What do we make of it?”

“The problem is that people never try to read what we write. They have made up their minds that our handwriting is illegible. Bhai thoda try to karo. We also know that it is impossible to understand what we write but surely you can make out the script being used. Anyway, we have now sent a letter back to the health minister asking for tax breaks for our attempts to preserve this language”, Mr. Bobby added.

When we asked Dr. Bobby to show how it is Sanskrit, he picked up a subscription lying on his table and said, “See this here reads like Combiflam, but in our ancient dialect we actually read it as Kombastu-falaami which means fire and fruit. This essentially means that this medicine is fruitful if patient’s body is on fire, i.e. under fever. This is why Combiflam is given for fevers and body pains. Now, look at this medicine name, here it seems like it says Benadryl Syrup, but it actually is Be-Nidra-Aryl which in our Sanskrit dialect means an Aral, i.e. a liquid which brings Nidra, i.e. sleep and soothes your body down. Which is why many people get addicted to taking two cups Benadryl every night before going to bed, to sleep peacefully. Our medicine journals are full of thousands of such examples.”

There was no response from the health ministry after this revelation. As per sources, the ministry has hired language experts to verify the claim by the doctors that they write in Sanskrit.

When we asked why the ministry didn’t take a look at some doctor prescriptions to identify the language, a health ministry spokesman replied, “Well, none of us knows how to read Sanskrit. We needed experts to identify this language correctly.”

In response to MSG and Ramdev’s entry in FMCG, Multi-Nationals to enter Indian Baba industry

New Delhi: After watching their core businesses getting hurt by Indian babas, Multi-National FMCG companies have decided to hurt their rivals’ core business- the baba industry. Leading MNCs have decided to launch their own versions of babas in the Indian market during this financial year.

The baba war is about to begin

While Baba Ramdev’s Patanjali products were already hurting MNCs for a while, now Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insan has also launched his MSG range of products that are eating into the market share of these MNCs.

After hearing this news, Faking News reporters visited various MNC offices to find out details of this baba blitz planned by the companies. While they refused to share great details of their babas, they did agree that they are entering the baba market with full force.

“We didn’t start the war, they did. They intruded on our territory and now we have no option but to strike them on their turf. What did they think, they will keep diversifying and we will just stand there allowing them to take away our market? Now we will take away their core market through our state of the art range of babas”, said Vinod Kamble, a marketing manager with Tractor and Tumble.

“This market is not entirely new to us though. We were already using babas internally, just called them consultants. Even they gave global gyaan and made loads of money while leaving our problems unresolved, just like the baba people approach for solutions to their lives’ problems”, Kamble added.

A senior VP with Hindustan Multilever, Mr. Jagat Kumar said, “We have done a lot of research to develop a baba superior to the existing ones in the market. Some features are same, like a beard and long hair and the knowledge of Yoga but apart from that, this is a totally different baba for the digital age. We will attract oldies and millennial alike through our product. Once we attack them on this front, I am sure they will take their focus away from FMCG market.”

Meanwhile, an unconcerned Baba Ramdev has diversified into electronics along with FMCG. The latest Patanjali Yoga TV with curved display is all set to launch during next month.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Kings XI Punjab’s cheerleaders take up knitting to spend free time during matches

Mohali: In an attempt to kill boredom during Kings XI Punjab’s IPL matches, their cheerleaders have taken up the hobby of knitting. Instead of sitting idle and waiting endless for the next wicket or boundary, they will now spend it knitting sweaters for themselves.

Finally they found something to do

Kings XI are currently at the last place in the IPL table having won only one game so far.

“We were getting so bored just sitting there and hoping for our team to get a boundary or a wicket so that we get something to do. We needed a hobby and after many people working in Indian Government offices advised us that this is the perfect hobby to spend time at work, we decided to take the plunge”, said Svetlana, a Russian cheerleader.

“We waited a couple of weeks to see if some work comes our way but so far, nothing. It is a struggle to stay awake during some of our matches. Once I fell asleep during one match and started dancing immediately after waking up only to find that Parthiv Patel has hit a six against us. It was really embarrassing. Now with knitting, I will be focused and awake and if any rare boundary is hit, will be in a position to dance”, Svetlana added.

Another cheerleader from South Africa joined in and said, “We won’t be taking any of the sweaters back with us, we will give them to Kings XI management. They are paying us so much so we must also give them something in return. We aren’t doing any dancing during the game so might as well repay with sweaters.”

Meanwhile, Kings XI management has advised cheerleaders to avoid taking wool and needles to the ground during the games against Royal Challengers Bangalore. “RCB is one bowling unit that will definitely assist us in hitting boundaries so the cheerleaders will have work that day”, said a Kings XI spokesperson.