Faking News - leading news satire website of India: July 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Team India loses, players finally get the feeling of being abroad weeks after landing in England

Southampton, UK. Weeks after landing in England, it was only today after losing the third match of the ongoing test series, that Indian players being felt like being abroad.

“First match was drawn, and if felt like we were somewhere in the Indian subcontinent, while in the second match it was a complete home like feel. But, at last we are abroad, in true sense!” said Dhoni with a sigh of relief.

Finally, he reached England.

Dhoni further thanked his fellow teammates for the joint effort and dedicated the achievement to them. “A captain is defined by his players,” Dhoni said.

Sources tell Faking News that players were increasingly getting frustrated with the way series was progressing as many of them were in England with their wives and girlfriends.

“My girlfriend was blaming me for fooling her with a fake foreign trip. Till yesterday, she thought we were in some well planned city of India. But, after today’s match result, she is very sure that it’s abroad,” revealed a cricketer on conditions of anonymity.

“We are not in England to feel home away from home, we are here to experience foreign conditions, both on ground and off ground,” he explained.

The team members plan to spend the next few days getting selfies clicked in front of tourist destinations of England to make sure the feeling is long lasting.

“We will avoid areas that are well populated with Indian origin people,” the team manager confirmed.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Man loses five kg after wearing a vertical striped shirt

New Delhi. Golu Sharma, a man in his mid twenties, claims to have lost five kg of his body weight after wearing a vertical striped shirt.

“I guess, I just created a new world record for fastest weight loss. No exercise, no dieting, nothing; all it took was a couple of hours I spent on shopping,” said Golu, boasting of his achievement, “The most brilliant solution is often the simplest.”

Forget sauna belts.

However, he also added that it wasn’t that easy as it seems to be.

“To achieve anything in life, you have to do at least something. In this case, I traveled from my house to the shopping mall, which was 5 km away from my house. And the most difficult part, it was raining at that time,” Golu explained the hard work that played a part in the weight loss.

After reaching the mall, Golu reportedly zeroed upon the perfect shirt only after visiting 15 different outlets. “Losing weight is indeed a difficult task,” he concluded.

Golu hasn’t yet checked his weight on a weighing machine, but as per him, he feels like he has lost his weight by 5 kg immediately after he wore the vertical striped shirt.

He has been advised by the shirt salesman to burn all the horizontal striped shirts and t-shirts he had. “It’s a comparatively less stressful way of burning your calories,” the salesman is reported to have claimed.

If Golu is to be believed, because of his new shirt, he was even getting some “positive” signals from women at his office.

Buoyed by the response, and to further increase his confidence level, Golu has changed his whole wardrobe. Besides buying vertical striped pants, vests, and underwears, he has even straightened his hair and intentionally keeping it over his face vertically.

“May be I should get vertical strips painted all over my body. This will make sure my weight loss is permanent,” wondered Golu.

Meanwhile, this morning, Golu tried to jog for the first time in his life. But to his own surprise, after running for just half a km, he felt exhausted despite wearing the magical shirt.

“I guess there is some fault with the shirt, I will get it exchanged,” Golu told Faking News.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Wife threatens husband, “Stop watching Newshour or my mother comes to stay with us”

New Delhi. Married life of a couple in Preet Vihar has hit a bit of a bump thanks to Times Now’s super hit entertainment program, The Newshour (or is it Super Newshour now?).

Mr. Yatin Gupta and Mrs. Anjali Gupta have been happily married for 5 years but Yatin’s addiction to hearing The Newshour has now created trouble in the paradise.

Anjali has issued him an ultimatum that if he didn’t stop the deadly and daily exposure to The Newshour, her mother, Yatin’s mother-in-law will come over to stay with them permanently.

Arnab, in the most polite position possible.

Speaking to Faking News, Anjali said, “I am fed up with this. Every weekday, from 9 PM to 10:30 PM, he starts watching that man shouting at random people. I have asked him several times to stop watching this nonsense but he listens to me as much as that anchor listens to his guests!”

“My pleas got totally ignored. I have decided to take extreme measures and decided to bring his saas, my dear mother into the picture. That’s the best threat I can think of,” she shared her frustrations.

“Earlier I didn’t complain about this quirk of his, but now I am expecting and I don’t want all that shouting, screaming and the general negativity on the show to affect our child,” she added, “I tried going to the other rooms when that show is on to avoid it, but I swear you can hear that Goswami guy shouting even through a 6 feet concrete wall. What is wrong with him?”

Since this Faking News reporter too wasn’t really sure what was wrong with Arnab Goswami, we dodged the question and moved to the next room to get Yatin’s side of the story.

Yatin told us with a dejected face, “What my wife doesn’t understand is what this whole show means to people like me. It is similar to what Angry young man Amitabh meant to 70s generation.”

“Big B used physical violence on screen, Big G uses verbal violence, that’s the only difference,” Yatin explained the importance of being Arnab Goswami.

“She asks me why can’t I watch other news channels for news, how do I explain to her that nobody watches The Newshour for news. Arnab’s screaming reflects anger and frustration of middle class today. So what if he screams without a point as long as he is screaming on air,” he added.

“But I will have to give up now I think; wife has used nuclear weapon in the shape of her mother. Even Arnab must be scared of his saas,” Yatin sighed.

As per a friend of the couple in the building, Yatin is now thinking about watching some Saas-Bahu serials during that time to get his daily dose of negativity and shouting.

Committee setup to look into adding areas into Akhand Bharat

The Gujarat Government today setup a committee to look into the matter of adding additional areas into Akhand Bharat. The committee to be headed by Mr. Dinanath Batra will submit a report within one month.

“People complained that the Akhand Bharat map looked small when compared to the prestige of Bharat,” Gujarat Education Minister Mr. Bhupendrasinh Chudasama said, “So we decided in a cabinet meeting to set up a committee to look into expanding Akhand Bharat. Mr. Dinanath Batra has been chosen to head this committee as he is the greatest historian in Bharat currently.”

“Let’s make it big.”

Mr. Batra did not elaborate on his plans but Faking News has exclusively accessed documents listing the ideas under consideration.

According to the document, Birmingham in England and Toronto in Canada will be included in Akhand Bharat as there are large populations of Indian origin people in these places.

It will also include the Caribbean Islands as they are called the West Indies, and the Native American reservations in the US because the Native Americans are referred to as Indians. The Indian Ocean will be declared the official water body of Akhand Bharat and will be renamed Akhand Bharat Mahasagar. And because all oceans are connected all other oceans will also be property of Akhand Bharat.

All Indian restaurants around major cities in the world will be taken over. These will sell swadeshi clothes and there will be arrangements for regular havans in them.

Azam Khan’s buffaloes will be declared property of Akhand Bharat, so that the Akhand Bharatiyas have enough bovine animals to feed on their birthdays.

Monday, July 28, 2014

After Nitin Gadkari’s, Salman Khan’s house also found bugged, fried brains of fans found in house

Mumbai. After reports about Nitin Gadkari’s house being bugged with spying devices, has come another report of such devices being found inside the house of Bollywood star Salman Khan.

Primary inspection of the bugging devices has revealed many private information about Salman Khan, but most shocking of those were presence of fried human brains in bhai’s flat.

The probe is still on to find out how these brains landed in Salman’s flat, but there are already many theories already doing rounds.

Salman tweeted "Kya be" in response to the entire controversy.

Salman tweeted “Kya hua?” in response to the entire controversy.

Some say these brains were kept so as to create a megabrain that can be gifted to Salman’s film scriptwriters. It should be noted that his latest release Kick was criticized for a weak script written by Chetan Bhagat.

According to people behind this theory, after Jai Ho flopped, Salman had started wondering why people were looking for script in his movies when it was never the case earlier. He could be studying those brains to get a peep into what his fans think.

However, this doesn’t explain how the brains got fried.

“No, it does explain!” a Salman expert told Faking News, “These brains belong to those who watched his movies, so they got fried.”

Some other claim that Salman’s aides might have removed those brains to ensure his movies are blockbuster success.

“Though I doubt it, but even if Salman Bhai removed a few brains, he is such gold hearted person that I am sure he will put them up for sale and will use the money thus earned for charity work in Being Human,” a fan on Social Media tried to defend Salman while offering his own brain, but it was later found to be already lying in Salman’s flat.

While identification of the owners of the brains is on, two of those brains have been found to be belonging to Mulayam Singh and Akhilesh Yadav, which Mumbai Police suspects Salman may have removed while performing in Saifai Mahotsava last year.

“That explains the recent statements regarding rapes and riots in UP by both father and son duo,” Commissioner of Police pointed out.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Student quits photography to finish engineering college

Bangalore. In an interesting turn of events last Thursday night, Nitesh, a student from Vishveshwarya Institute of Engineering and Technology declared his life changing decision of ‘quitting photography and finishing engineering college’ among a gathering of his friends.

This event has been made public through a cellphone video recorded by one of his sober friends that evening. In the video Nitesh and his friends Mohit, Vikash, and Ranjan, could be seen raising their glasses while cheering and supporting him in his tough life changing decision and wishing him best for what lay ahead of him in his journey.

When this Faking News reporter asked Nitesh this morning over what made him take the decision, he said, “I shouldn’t have watched 3 idiots the night before.”

Nitesh’s Facebook profile pic before he decided to quit photography

Jay and Rohit, two first year students of the same college who had been asked to fetch 3 bottles of Old Monk later that night, claimed that they had found broken pieces of a camera, which both of them instantly recognized as their final year senior’s.

Apart from that, they witnessed the smudged writing on their senior’s hostel wall which said “I QUIT” being overwritten with another piece of writing which said “NOW, I BEGIN”.

Some more interesting facts were unearthed in the tea-break during college the next morning, where some of the dark secrets about Nitesh’s life were revealed.

Uday, his classmate and ex-roommate was quoted as saying, “He used to buy entry tickets for photography competitions in several college fests. Never won even a single time!”

And Vineet, who was seated nearby added, “He owes me 500 rupees now; said he would pay me as soon as he sells his camera.” What followed next was his anxiety when Vineet was informed about the broken camera by the first year juniors who were eavesdropping on this discussion.

After deciding that engineering is something he should concentrate upon, Nitesh was the first to get to his class on Friday morning, reportedly with borrowed notebooks and a pen. Although to his misfortune, he hadn’t had the time to catch up with his friends who would have informed him about a planned mass bunk until tea-break.

“I am not going to be a part of the crowd,” Nitesh later told Faking News why he attend the class alone.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Friday faking release: Annadata

Movie starring Shiv Sena MP Rajan Vichare as a man who enjoys force-feeding people.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Dowry of balding engineer decreasing at his hair loss speed, family in hurry to marry him off

Lucknow. Chaman Lal, a balding engineer in his mid twenties, is facing serious trouble in cracking a perfect dowry deal due to constant hair fall.

Chaman’s hair fall problem started around a year back, but it was in January this year when his parents realized its negative impact on cashing him off.

Save hairs, only 40,000 left.

“Last year, when Chaman’s head was completely covered with hair, I checked his market value after consulting experts from dowry business. They had valued him something around Rs 12 lakh in cash and a Hyundai i20,” Daman Lal, Chaman’s father, disclosed his son’s worth in 2013.

But Chaman’s market value started falling with his falling hair soon after, and within a period of 6 months, it was reduced to Rs 9 lakh in cash and the car model downgraded from Hyundai i20 to Hyundai i10.

Chaman’s father was so shocked, he took around a week to recover from the mental trauma caused by the loss.

“I never realized that the hair, which our maid was sweeping away every morning and throwing in the garbage bin, was so precious!” Mr Daman Lal continued, “If his hair fall continues at this rate, who knows, we may have to settle down with a second hand Maruti 800.”

Panicked Chaman’s parents have begun a massive search operation to find a suitable bride for him before his it’s too late.

“We have informed all our relatives and created Chaman’s account on all matrimonial sites. I will not let him go Kingfisher’s way,” averred Chaman’s uncle, a stock broker by profession.

However, with each passing month, Chaman’s value is decreasing despite taking hair control treatment from likes of Dr Batra.

Meanwhile, doctors have advised Chaman to relax and not worry too much about the falling dowry rate, as the stress caused by that might further speed up the hair fall rate.

Families bringing their own paneer to enjoy Pizza Paneer Makhni at Pizza Hut

Mumbai. The Paneer Makhni offering of Pizza Hut has turned out to be a big hit among families who are seen enjoying it with the paneer specially brought from home.

Customers latched on to the idea of bringing home paneer after finding them being served with only 2 odd small pieces of Paneer on the base.

“The first time I thought they may have forgotten to add paneer and makhan to the pizza base, but when I ordered it again the next time, I was sure it was some new concept where they just want families to bring their own paneer in order to enjoy this offering,” a regular Pizza Hut customer confirmed.

The delicious Paneer Makhni as served by Pizza Hut.

“But let me tell you the Pizza base that they serve is the most delicious in the world,” he quickly added.

Customers feel Pizza Hut should take this idea to the next level and start serving plain pizza on lines plain dosa served by south Indian restaurants.

“It is a revolutionary idea. It gives me the feeling of having Paneer Makhni without actually eating any paneer,” a figure-conscious model explained how this offering was low on calories.

Pizza Hut management too is ecstatic that it had been able to strike the right chord with this concept.

“Different people have different taste buds. So it is just a precautionary exercise where we are encouraging customers to bring paneer cooked in their own style, so as to avoid any kind of disappointment later,” Paneer Pradhan, general manager Pizza Hut told Faking News.

“We can’t risk a situation where someone barges into our Kitchen and stuffs pizza into our chef’s mouth after being disappointed with the taste or quality,” he added.

He further showed a “thank you” card that was given to him by an engineer who became nostalgic after having Paneer Makhni.

“He became emotional and hugged me tightly for reminding of his hostel days where he would hardly find any paneer in kadai paneer ki sabzi at mess,” Pradhan revealed.

Mothers too are happy with this latest offering by Pizza Hut.

“Now I don’t stop my son from eating at Pizza Hut, since 80% of the stuff that he eats there is home cooked and 100% hygienic,” revealed one such relieved mother.

Meanwhile inspired by Pizza Hut, Lays is planning to officially sell only air in its packets, which will be filled by home cooked chips.

Man demands tax exemption on earnings made via Dhan Varsha Yantra

New Delhi. Sudarshan Jha, an unemployed engineering graduate, has filed a petition in the Supreme Court claiming exemption from paying taxes over money he made due to a “yantra” he bought after watching a television ad.

In desperation to make some money to feed his family, Sudharshan had come across “Shri Dhan Laxmi Kuber Dhan Varsha Yantra” that promised to make him rich. And it actually worked.

An offer he couldn’t refuse.

“Thanks to the yantra, mere achchhe din aa gaye,” Sudarshan told Faking News.

In the petition, he has pointed out that since India was a secular country, Government of India was not the owner of God Kuber or Goddess Laxmi and neither of them were registered as any business concerns in India. In fact, they were not even attached to any financial institution, though names or logos of some banks may suggest otherwise.

“How can this money be taxed by the government of India?” he claimed. When a CA argued that it was still taxable because he, as an Indian citizen, got it in India, Sudarshan claimed that it was not any “salary” that Laxmi-Kuber had paid him.

“The money I have made, thanks to this yantra, is like god’s gift,” he claimed, “Money gifted by parents to their children are not taxed in India, because parents are like god. So how can gifts from god be taxed?”

“If gifts from god are to be taxed, tomorrow government will impose a tax on having children, because children are considered god’s gift!” Sudarshan argued why his case was very vital for the whole society.

Upon being asked about his annual income figure from the yantra, Mr. Jha refused to divulge any information saying the matter was sub-judice.

It will be interesting to see what verdict the apex court comes up with, as many income tax defaulters and people supposed be having accounts in Swiss banks are believed to be following the developments closely.

A verdict in favor of Mr. Jha will be a good tool to justify their income as result of some divine blessings.

“If Sudharshan loses the case, we will ask someone from the minority community to file a similar case. The courts could be forced to be sensitive to religious beliefs in that case,” a man checking his Swiss account balance told Faking News.

Meanwhile, sources reveal that to pull out of losses, Rail Ministry has ordered all its division to install these yantras in their offices. If these yantras bail railway out of decades of losses, they will further add Hanuman Chalisa yantra, also available for sale on TV these days, to ward off any future accidents and collision.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Leopard who moved into IIT Bombay had no mating partner, wanted to hang out with bachelors

Mumbai. Frustrated by taunts of his already committed friends, a “single” leopard named Chiteshwar, escaped from jungle and entered IIT Bombay campus to live with like-minded animals.

Single and happy.

Unlike other leopards, Chiteshwar claims to be a “thinking leopard” and doesn’t mind being single.

“It is not like I don’t want to get into a relationship. I am bit shy, and socially awkward with female leopards. But that doesn’t mean my friends make fun of me!” argued Chiteshwar, while trying to convince college authorities to let him stay in the campus.

To further impress the authorities, Chiteshwar also flaunted his good IQ level by telling them the difference between a male and a female leopard.

Chiteshwar is hoping that a good IQ level coupled with his inability to be comfortable with opposite sex is surely going to help him prolong his stay inside campus at one of the boy’s hostels.

“I am loving the hostel environment, and it’s feeling like home away from home!” Chiteshwar said after meeting a few students in hostel who hadn’t taken bath for last few weeks.

“Cheetah bhi daily nahi nahata,” he quipped.

Following his revelations, students at IIT are supporting the leopard. “He is one of us,” said Amit, a second year electrical engineering student, “We will benefit from his animal spirits.”

“If we are going to turn our back on Chiteshwar, then who in this brutal world would help him?” a sympathetic Amit pleaded further, “By end of the college, he could get placed in one of the circuses, like rest of us.”

Shiv Sena MPs to help mothers force feed children who don’t eat green vegetables

Mumbai. Buoyed by their success at Maharashtra Sadan in Delhi, where they forcibly made a staffer almost eat a chapati, Shiv Sena MPs have now decided to help mothers whose children are reluctant to eat green vegetables.

“With great power comes great responsibility, and we understand it perfectly well. Now that we have realized our power to force feed anyone, we are certainly going to use it for the benefit of society and our constituencies,” said Sena MP Rajan Vichare while addressing a joint press conference along with other 10 MPs who were involved in the act.

An open invitation to Khilawan Man.

Mr. Vichare revealed that the idea to help the mothers clicked in his mind, when he saw his own video in which he was forcing chapati into the mouth of Maharashtra Sadan staff, who was later identified as a fasting Muslim.

“It reminded me of my childhood days, when my mother used to forcefully feed me spinach, and I must say, that wasn’t an easy task for her,” Vichare said.

“That’s why we have decided to use our habit of flaunting power for some constructive purpose. We will help mothers force feed green vegetables or milk to their children,” he added.

When asked if this won’t amount to child abuse, the MP threatened to force feed the microphone to this Faking News reporter.

The MPs will be projecting themselves as some superhero – tentatively being called “Khilawan Man” – who would be feared by kids, unlike other kids friendly superheroes like Shaktimaan.

“A well known fashion designer from Mumbai has been asked to design the superhero dress, which could be similar to dresses worn by Lady Gaga,” revealed a source, “This is to make children afraid of them. Although being a Sena MP is sufficient enough, but still.”

Shiv Sena chief Uddhav Thackeray has supported his MPs’ decision and hoped that it will help Marathi children become healthier and stronger.

Meanwhile, mothers across Maharashtra have started using the phrase “Beta hari sabzi khaa lo warna Khilawan Man aa jaayega” to make their children eat vegetables and other nutritional food items.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

IIM introduces course on managing limited sabzi with rotis, to improve students’ managerial skills

Ahmedabad. Taking a cue from daily life, country’s top management institute IIM Ahmedabad has introduced a new course to teach students how to finish rotis (breads) with limited amount of sabzi (cooked vegetables) while eating.

Professor Jagannath Datta, the man behind this idea, believes that it will help future managers to acquire the much required skill of managing a system when faced with scarcity of resources.

Mock test.

“I have seen many students in a mess while eating in the mess,” Prof. Datta said, “Some of them are left with no vegetables but one roti left, which causes them to go and get extra sabzi from the counter. Some of them end up overeating, while others end up wasting either the vegetable or the roti.”

“That’s when I thought about the course content and decided to offer it to the second year students,” he said.

The “sabzi-roti management” course will be offered entirely in the hostel mess and students will have to attend classes during the lunch and dinner times.

Prof. Datta will oversee students eating rot-sabzi and impart vital lessons on the go. A test run of the course is already underway with help of a few student volunteers.

Varun, one of the volunteer students, confirmed that he was finding the course very useful and he had learned a lot of things in just two days, though he was still far away from perfection.

“I have finally learned to save sabzi for the last roti. But professor tells me that my consumption pattern didn’t follow the optimal path. I had allocated very limited amount of sabzi to first four rotis to make sure I don’t run out of sabzi for the last roti. But prof was not happy,” Varun said.

“I have to learn optimal resource allocation, as all rotis deserve same amount of sabzi,” he explained.

Apart from operations management, the course is also expected to impart some vital lessons in financial management.

“Students who fail to save sabzi for the last roti will have to take sabzi loan, and repay it in the next class by eating one roti less. The hunger will teach them how to control expenditure and avoid credit risks,” Prof. Datta told Faking News.

The course, due to the nature of “academic work” involved, is expected to be a huge hit among students, sources confirm.

Manager found putting less than 90% of his time in shooting mails, sacked

Mumbai. A senior manager working in the sales division of a logistics and courier company was sacked today after he was found devoting less than 90% of his time in shooting mails to his team and superiors.

This gross violation of the universally acceptable behavior of a manager came to the light when he submitted his official laptop for servicing.

On going through the mails in it – an act sanctioned by one of the clauses in the employment contract – the systems guy found him writing only about 30-40 mails on a daily basis. He immediately brought it to the notice of the HR of the company.

A manager at work

Further to this, the history showed the manager logging onto Facebook and Twitter only 6-7 times a day as against a minimum of 25 times clearly stated in his KRA.

Upon further inspection, the HR department also found a staggering 88% of his entire team very happy with the way he was handling them. Following this, HR, in consultation with top management, decided to sack him.

“I was already suspicious about him when he did not give me a life on candy crush during office hours once,” said the HR head of the company for 5 years, “He would exceed his lunch hours and tea breaks by only 15 minutes and would be seldom seen wasting time. But I would turn a blind eye to his behavior as his honeymoon period was on.”

If the HR guys are to be believed, at the time of interview, the manager had projected himself as a very pompous, slothful, and insensitive kind of a guy, leading to his quick selection. But he changed colors too soon.

The company now rues not giving a suitable hike to the past manager, who would shoot mails at drop of a hat.

“He was a passionate mailer. He would even write mails on how he thinks the watchman of our office should go about his work and how he can improve his efficiency and productivity,” his boss told Faking News, admitting that letting him go was a grave mistake.

“At time we would be fooled into thinking that he was mute, because even for normal conversations like ‘Hi, How are you?…Chal lets go for lunch‘, he would shoot mails,” he went on to explain how his services, of rather the lack of it, were being missed.

Men at work totally busy trying to help the new girl in office

Bangalore. Male employees of BrainDead Services Private Limited, an IT services company, are totally busy competing against each other over who would help the newly joined girl with her work.

It all started last week when Manmohini, a software engineer with two years of experience joined BrainDead. As per office sources, all was going as expected with men, especially those with “single” status, finding excuses to start a conversation with her.

“Everybody was introducing himself to Manmohini and explaining their skills. Had they done something similar during appraisal, they might have got extra 1% salary hike!” said Murthy, the HR manager of the company.

These finger movements are defining the movements of men in the office these days.

Apart from verbally displaying their LinkedIn profile pages to the new girl, all of them reassured Manmohini that they were always there for her.

“Being a true team player, we all promised to help her beyond our capacity,” Mrugank, one of the “competitors” confirmed.

As luck had it, Manmohini started her work and faced her first problem within an hour. This is when the competition entered the “cut throat” level.

“Within seconds, ten guys were standing around me to help,” recounted Manmohini while talking to Faking News, “And after that, all hell broke loose. All ten of them started fighting for my laptop, just in order to fix my problem.”

A guy named Vikas managed to get the laptop and ran away from the site, so that he alone fixed the problem and became a hero in the eyes of Manmohini. This is when the competition entered the “war zone”.

Following complaint by the colleagues, Vikas has been warned not to indulge in such behavior again. Rules of war have been released by the HR department and employees have promised to follow them, unlike other rules routinely released by HR.

Latest reports suggest that everyone in the company is waiting for Manmohini to encounter her second problem.

Meanwhile Faking News has found out through a different set of sources that Manmohini is a secret weapon that was employed to suppress a growing discontent and possible rebellion among the employees over paltry salary hike earlier this year.

“Frankly, this is for the first time that we have hired someone for their looks,” the HR manager claimed, “There are some women in our workforce, and they too are unhappy about the salary hike. But we thought to control the men first.”

“But what if someone finally wins her over? That employee will go on a date, and will again realize that he doesn’t get enough salary to support a romantic life?” Faking News asked.

“She already has a boyfriend, but we have asked her not to disclose it till the next appraisal,” Murthy revealed.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Exclusive pics showing what Modi’s fashion designer is planning for him

According to reports, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has hired a Mumbai-based designer Troy Costa to style his wardrobe for his upcoming US trip in September. Faking News has managed to hack into Costa’s laptop, and here is a sneak peak into what Costa is planning: